Hello. I thought that I would interject here. I have been on Klonopin for over 2 years now. So the short-term effects stuff do not believe it. While taking the medication my panic attacks DRAMTICALLY decreased. I have only been diagoned with Panic Disorder. I have tried Lexapro, which led to ED, Zoloft, which had no effect on my panic attacks over 4 months, while be treated with vistaril at the same time to help me sleep. Next I was put on xanax just when I feel a panic attack coming on which is just about impossible mine occur so rapidly.

The doctor then decided to try klonopin, within days the panic attacks ceased maybe 1 a month instead of 2 to 3 a week. VERY, VERY severe attacks breaking out with rashes and all of that. She then tried to add a tri-cyclic which led again to lack of sexual drive and insomonia.

Now where am I, I just visited a new physciatrist and she had told me the best therapy for me is a two prong approach. 1) medication, klonopin 3 times daily since the lasting effect is around 6 hours 2) You must go to a therapist also. I resisted number 2 at first but now I am in opened arms. This really will help in the long run and will help you from increasing your dosage but understanding how to deal with anxiety and express your emotions. LISTEN to me.

Some people say do not take it because you will be addicted. But they do not understand I am addicted to not being miserable and you can control the addiction to the drug with your mind by contiuation of therapy and not abusing them.

I am tired of hearing how klonopin ruined their life. I take 3 1 mg tablets a day and am in the medical field which require intense concentration and execution. It does not phase me one bit. All it does is cut out the panic attacks.

Now on top of that watch your caffiene intake. I have been limited to 2 caffeinated drinks a day. Meaning 1 coffee and 1 mountain dew. Or 2 mountain dews. caffeine can help trigger panic attacks and should be minimized as much as possible.

However relize recent study has shown that even 1 packet of splenda a day can cause severe muscle weakness. Remember you body always comensates for whatever you take or manipulate in it.

Just be careful don't abuse. Be honest with you doctor and do not let them force you into treatment because of its class. Find another doctor.   (Mon Feb 11 22:05 2008)

First is most recent. does appear not to be   (Sun Jul 15 14:10 2007)

Test #2   (Mon Jul 9 22:40 2007)

Test #1   (Mon Jul 9 22:36 2007)

Hi,

I haven't been here since 2005 when everything got worse for me.
But, is there anyone here that has anxiety/panic/ agoraphobia and on klonopin?

I can't seem to get off the stuff and now I am having so many other mental illnesses that I am very scared and lost!

I'm taking 3mgs a day and having flash backs so bad....I'm very parionoid.
   (Thu Jun 28 20:30 2007)

Dear Baffet
Can you to corect:NOTE (FIRST IT MOST RECENT
MESSAGE)
Luigi   (Sat Jun 9 14:23 2007)

Dear Kristen
I been there.....and you cansolve the problem: Take Valium, ask your doctor. I am
sorry about your lost, its part of ours life
....and its very little wee can do about,but
is there a solution:Think posetive...Its
there one day also for you, the good God will help you. I was borne in Italy, now I live in Canada. If you like you can reach me
at:stradi2@msn.com
I am sure you suffer fropm Anxiety...maybe
also Depression, I hope not
your friend Luigi
1 kg of health and regards
   (Thu Jun 7 20:51 2007)

Hi Buffet
Can you look at this problem:FIRST IT MOST
RECENT...MESSAGE... Not so, why?
Thankyu
Luigi   (Wed Jun 6 18:06 2007)

Dear Buffet
Check this out:First it most recent? Not true....try to corect it please
Luigi   (Tue Jun 5 22:08 2007)

Its true?   (Tue Jun 5 21:52 2007)

I am trying to estimate Pfizer Inc.:Are they
a founders of a religion:MONEY MAKERS ONLY?
And ruins the life of many people!This its
my "case" by changin the formula of the old
NARDIL to a nonsense Phenelzine Sulfate-Even
if the new formula helps [poorly] some one..
What about people like me! Where the life
intirely RUINED > "Pfizer has no MERCY"   (Fri May 25 21:40 2007)

Hi All
I definitely I quit the new Nardil. does seems like, no body does post any more....
I am wondering why? To all may old friends I
say:Enjoy life as you can...When alive
Hugs from Luigi   (Sun May 20 14:33 2007)

I've come off it and who know's how many other BZD's twice in my life. I was taking various ones (Xanax, Klonopin, Diazepam, Ativan) for about 4 years at near to the maximum therapeutic does each day. I would recommend switching to diazepam when coming off, it's much gentler but takes longer (8 weeks). the first time i went cold turkey after over a year on 7.5mg of Ativan a day; the 1st week was absolute hell, but by the 2nd I knew I was recovering and by the 4th I was pretty much back to normal. Out of the two options, choose a switch to diazepam - it's worth 8 weeks of lighter misery than 2 weeks of complete hell that shatters your body and mind.   (Sat Feb 10 11:40 2007)

Check this out:
https://FNCnutrition.com   (Mon Dec 18 16:41 2006)

Wow! Thought things were crashing down on me again. I'm shopping at the mal determined to find one of those Wii games. The crowds are pushing and I am caught up in a frenzy of people pushing their way into a Game Max store( a small local game store) Oh God! I fall and people keep stampeding over me. Not one single person tried to help me up. Thank goodness the crowd was small. I only had a few bruises. People just ran over me as if I was a doormat. Then the trembling started. I started shaking visibly then crying. I couldn't help myself. The manager helped me up and took me over to the Starbucks and bought me an eggnog. Boy, are these good. Good and addicting too. Now I am hooked on the eggnogs. This is my new problem. I am trying wellbutrin again to help me drink less eggnog.   (Wed Dec 13 14:04 2006)

How r u doing? wow that is alot of neurontin. i've started a class called i.o.p. intensive outpatient program. my lows seem to be getting lower. i still think it might have something to do with perimenapause. but they keep saying no. sometimes i get so depressed that feel like driving my car off the side of a frwy ramp. you know how the ramps are here in california. during those times, i have to call a hot line for support. if i dont take my klonopin, i get a manic mouth. i guess i could have some level of bi polor. i'm scared, any feed back?   (Sat Nov 25 12:11 2006)

PS I'm taking 3600 mgs. of Neurontin for sleep. I know, I know, it's through the roof, but I've built up a terrific tolerance to it. My shrink and I are trying to beat it back down with some other meds but not having much success. Was having sexual troubles WAY before N. came on the scene. I'm also on the EMSAM patch. Ditto for the patch. Sexual problems preceded both of these meds.   (Sat Nov 4 23:26 2006)

Hi, Sillygal. Thanks for your response. As you can see, my name has 2 "n's". My dad thought it was a great idea and they spelled it wrong on my birth certficate. Everyone's been spelling it wrong for the last 54 years. So, I'm not gonna change my name, here. But, I'm not gonna look too hard at the Klonopin as the culprit for my loss of sex drive. I don't know. People are different. Still could be affecting it. Appreciate other responses. Thanks.   (Sat Nov 4 23:22 2006)

1st of all, change your name alot of people out here know my real name is carolyn. lol. and no i dont have sexual side effects. i only take 1 mg a day and my sex drive is through the roof. maybe its something else doing that to you. what else are you taking? how old are you? i'm 46.
hugs
Carolyn   (Fri Nov 3 2:19 2006)

Does anyone have sexual side effects with Klonopin? I'm taking 2 mgs. at bedtime for panic disorder & agoraphobia. I have zippo libido and if I do try to be sexual, I have a terrible time reaching orgasm.

Has anyone else had this problem? My shrink tells me it's my depression, my anxiety, my hairstyle. But, it's not the Klonopin. I'd actually like to hear from those of us in the trenches. What it says on the "side effects" sheet and what happens in real life are two entirely different animals. Thanx.   (Sun Oct 29 19:31 2006)

Hi, I'm taking around 2mg of K daily and I've been like that for some time now.
I would try to quit someday but I dont feel Im ready yet so in the meantime I want to try a supplement like Magnesium which they say helps for anxiety.
Any suggestions on how to take it or if I should take something more to supplement?? My goal would be to lower the intensity of my panic attacks and from there get the courage to reduce my K dosage.
Any input is appreciated... wish me luck!   (Sat Oct 28 23:14 2006)

I think my wife has changed the laundry detergent. I have terrible allergies anyway. This evening I noticed I had itching all over my chest and abdomen. Not bad, but noticable. I started itching a little and the itching become worse. More scratching and more itching and on and on. When I came home I asked my wife to look at my back too( it was itching and tingling) "you have a rash" she said. I started to hyperventilate. My son noticed this right away, the hyperventilation that is. He brought me my CPAP. That helped. Of course I had to go to the hospital. I thought I was done with hospitals! I had to wait for hours in the waiting room just to be triaged. I thought ...what if I died in the waiting room? My wife left me there with my cell phone. I am supposed to call her when they find out something. Yeah, right. My wife care SOOOO much. Leaves me in the ER waiting room. I had my CPAP with me and I managed to plug it into an outlet by one of the entry doors to the waiting room. So, I set down and put my head piece on. No one is coming to get me. It's been hours and other people are called into the ER triage room. So, here I am, setting on the floor in the Er waiting room. The floor is filthy you know. I don't think anyone ever vacumes or mops. The floor is all sticky and there are dried brownish splotches on the floor. I have a good view here. I am having to set on the floor and cross my legs. It's so crowded and little children run about. Then, my legs start going to sleep. You know how they are completly numb. That's when my name is called to come into the triage room! I am trying to get up with my CPAP and I trip on the floor. Right on my CPAP machine! I break it! The nurses aid helps me up, but the tingling has started in my feet. I have to walk. Just move my feet . The cramping will set in and the tingling after that. The nurse motions for me to come in. Me and my broken CPAP machine. I show her the rash. She tells me it's definatly an allergic reaction and to go back to a gurney in the hall. There are so many people crammed into this ER that I am forced to lie down on a gurney in the hall. So, to make a long story short. The doctor gave me a steroid shot and another shot (sounded like benadryl) He thinks the laundry detergent caused my allergy. I would never have guessed that, but my wife did switch detergents yesterday. So, everyone be careful of switching laundry detergents. Perfume additives can cause reactions.   (Sat Oct 21 1:38 2006)

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I have been on clonazapam for around three months; I am trying to get off of this stuff; my personality has completed changed from fun-loving to not caring; Has anyone been through this, and how long did it take to get your old self back; I am destroying relationships and not intentional and very apathetic; help!!!   (Thu Oct 12 16:50 2006)

sorry it took me so long to get back to youy. ive been reading alot in this new book . its a self help book i mentioned earlier . its cognitive therapy you can do on your own. You are not alone in this. there are alot of us going thru the same thing. if you have thoughts of suicide you need to seek help now. at the emergency room or whatever but do it now.    (Tue Oct 10 18:17 2006)

Hi this is all new to me a friend suggested I speak to people with the same problems. I have severe anxiety evryday it gets so bad I cant walk talk start seeing things that are not there I scream feel that im going to die and everything is just so bad.
I think about taking an overdose at least 3 times a week. I have been to many doctors and stil suffer. Im so miserable sad and feel that im the only one in the world that gets it so bad. I used to be a professional athlete and loved to exercise and eat really healthy foods. I have not been able to keep a relationship because it scares everybody away when the panic comes.
is there anybody out there that i could talk with I have been on Klonipin for 2 years now and its not helping.    (Thu Oct 5 1:17 2006)

How is everyone doing? I got a new book, its called Feeling Good (the new mood therapy) by David Burns, M.D. It includes a consumers guide to antidepressant drugs and a clinically proven DRUG-FREE treatment for depression and anxiety. I'm still reading the introduction and its got me interested.
Hugs to you all!
   (Tue Oct 3 2:26 2006)

sillygal,

Thanks and I will pray for you.   (Fri Sep 29 8:31 2006)

I will pray for you.    (Fri Sep 29 1:56 2006)

sillygirl,

I told my Doctor last Monday night that this is a catch 22. If I don't take the SSRI's then I can loose my life and if I do take them I have no life. Because this illness is still in the closet no one is looking out for us like AIDS victims. Only a short time ago people were dying from AIDS and now they are not dying. The reason is they got together and put pressure on the politicians to do something about it and they did. If this doesn’t work I have to be strong enough not to give in and take the SSRI's. I only pray that I don't give in because of the pain and I can hold out until I can find something that works. It's funny you don't miss something you don't have and they once you get used to something and loose it you want it back.   (Thu Sep 28 16:49 2006)

wow, that made perfect sence. I refuse to even try anymore ssri's . im sticking with the klonopin and buspar. individual therepy and group therepy.    (Thu Sep 28 13:37 2006)

sillygal,

I have used it for a long time at night and I’m hook but it works and so far it has not caused any damage as far as I know. Like I said I hope the increase in the Wellbutrin will address my problem and if I do have anxiety in work I will try it and see if it works. I just don't want to go back on a SSRI because of the side affect it has on me. I just got married three months ago. I get so frustrated with this illness because of the medications available. You would think in the most advanced society that mankind has ever known we would have a cure or at least a single treatment for everyone who suffers from this. I have suffered from this for the last 18 years and I don't see any major advancements since I stared taking medication. We are just test rabbits to these Doctor's. You can learn as much as they know on the Web about med's and what they will do and will not do. The only thing they are good for is writing prescriptions and you could tell them what to write because like I said they know as much as we do. If you look at most of the other illnesses they all have made so many advancements over the last 18 years. Maybe the drug companies don’t what this illness to be cured because they would loose billions of dollars. If over 30 million people suffer from depression you could just image how much money is too made.    (Thu Sep 28 9:54 2006)

You should never use it to fall asleep. that puts you in danger of addiction. try not using it to fall asleep and see if you are hooked. i would only take a very small amount during the day and ONLY if you are having alot of anxiety. but ask your doc, i'm not a doctor, just another anxious and confused person.    (Thu Sep 28 1:43 2006)

Thanks sillygirl. It does make me tired and I was wonerding if that will go away. I have used this for a few years at night to fall asleep but never durning the day while I'm at work.   (Wed Sep 27 13:53 2006)

Klonopin works like magic for my anxiety. i can't take any ssri's at all. ive tried them all well i think most of them and my doc has come to the conclusion that my body physically cannot handle them. so i have to deal with my depression in other ways. i'm currently working in a work book called 10 days to self esteem by david burns, its greaat. of course to dont get self esteem in 10 days though. i also practice staying in the now. which is very hard for me. good luck to you.    (Wed Sep 27 13:36 2006)

I have been taking Wellbutrin and SSRI's and the SSRI casued sexual side effects.My Doctor has changed my Wellbutrin from SR to XL and increased the dosage from 400mg to 450mg and suggested that I take klonopin for my anixety.    (Wed Sep 27 8:56 2006)

I'm so sorry to hear that the Celexa didn't work for you. Right now my anxiety isn't nearly as bad as it had been this past week. I am going to talk to my psychiatrist about trying the Lexapro. I have a friend that said that she's really had a great experience with this medication.
Thanks for taking the time to answer my questions. I will check out that website.
Esther    (Sun Sep 24 23:08 2006)

go to http://www.rxlist.com/ and type in what ever med you want, it has all the info there. thats where i go. by the way, i got the celexa that the doc wanted me to try. oh my god, it made me so tired. and later i got VERY angry at everything, so angry that i wanted to hurt someone. my chest started to hurt. my mom helped me calm down and now im alright. i'm so sensitive to meds its pethetic. maybe the klonopin and celexa was just too much for me. ive tried so many different antidepressents. and none work for me. i always seem to have severe side effects. for others it seems to work fine, i dont get it. its not fair. take care girl, and keep in touch. talk to me anytime. you can go to www.tagworld.com/carolyn45 and talk to me there too. join it, its free. make sure you tell me who you are so i dont delete you. its kind of like my space but not as risque. come see my page, its fun.   (Sun Sep 24 0:38 2006)

Well at one point I was taking .5mg 3x a day, and then got down to taking .5mg 2x a day. I am also taking the drug Trileptal for mood swings, which I seem to have no problem with at all.
When I made the transition from 3 to 2 a day, it was extremely hard. This has been about one year ago, but I had been fine. The other day it got so bad I couldn't handle it, and I called the physician on call and he told me I could take 3, but then the next day it still hadn't gotten any better and I called him around 1am, and he told me I could take 4.
So I started taking .5mg 4x a day yesterday, and it seemed to be better. However today I am going to try and stick to 3, if I can make it. I don't want to be hooked on such a high dose.
My doctor wanted to put me on Lexapro, do you know anything about this drug? I guess it's for depression and also GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). Thanks for your comment, I really appreciate it!
Eshter   (Sat Sep 23 14:10 2006)

sorry, i forgot to mention, yes you can build up a tolerance for them.    (Sat Sep 23 12:40 2006)

Hi! I try to keep my dose very low. I only take it when i have to. usually i take half of a .5mg in the early morn and about 3 or 4 hours later i end up taking another half. that usually works for . probably cause im on buspar as well. but when situations like last night arise, my grandmother was in E.R. and the docs were being very vague when talking to me, i got very anxious and yelled at them. I ended up taking another half. my prescription says i can take two .5mg a day but not to exceed 3. ive never taken that much. I just started celexa last night, now if that makes my anxiety worse to the point that i feel i need more klonopin, then i will stop the celexa. I had to take a medication class where i work, i pass meds to patients. I'm not an expert, but i do know that benzodiazapines are very addictive and hard to stop at large doses. I was told if i keep it under 2 mg a day it wouldnt bother me. so i keep it way under that. some one here said they were taking .5mg 6 times a day. well thats only 3 mg but i wouldnt do it unless i absolutely had to. are you on anything else? be careful. but take what you need to be comfortable.    (Sat Sep 23 12:37 2006)

Hi,I was hoping there might be someone out there that might be able to help me with these questions.
I wanted to know how long some of you have been taking Klonopin and what you may consider a high dose, and also at some point has your body built up a tolerance for this drug?
I have been taking this for quite some time now and I've been experiencing alot of anxiety lately and have had to increase the dose. I'm not sure exactly what is going on, but if there are any of you that can help with the questions I've asked it would greatly be appreciated.
Thanks,
Esther   (Sat Sep 23 8:24 2006)

I just went through the same thing. wasnt that crazy?!!!! I had a panic attack in the procedure room, im so glad i had a very nice doc. he gave me 10mg verced and 100 mg demerol. My problem was that i had a large tear in my rectum. which they fixed by injecting my butt lol, with botox. I finally get the chance to get botox and i cant even show off the results, lol. well, this is a very discusting subject, but its part of life. and it scrambled up my anxiety, thats for sure. I've been on medical leave from work for a month now because of this crap. and ya know what? the doc says it all started because of too much stress and anxiety. thats how the tear got there in the first place. You talk alot just like me, thats funny, i thought i was the only one with a completely open book. i've learned while on medical leave to only leave my book open a very little. it protects me .but if anyone needs to vent, this is the place. some times we get feed back, some times it seems we are all alone. i just wonder who really reads all this stuff and do they really care. i know i do. by the way, i am on .5 mg klonopin up to 3 times a day, i usually only need it once. and i also take buspar . 15mg in am and 30mg in pm. doc want me to go on celexa , i havent picked it up yet.    (Fri Sep 22 18:44 2006)

Horray for me! The colonoscopy and the endoscopy didn't show a thing. The prostate biopsy was the last thing. Boy, was I anxious about that! Another bowel prep (fleets enema) my wife made me go to work that morning...after the bowel prep! My coworkers humiliated me once again. They called me "the volcano" and taunted me by following me to the mens room. The doctor doing the biopsy didn't have any of the correct equipment! Even the biopsy needles were contaminated. The nurse said "these needles are contaminated! The seal is broken" Good God! Is this how our health care system works?! I managed to get out of the biopsy and my wife made an appointment with another doctor. Now, I was never an agorophobic before, but now I don't want to leave the house. My wife, and my parents carried me into the van and my wife drove me to the new doctors office. After the exam, he said "you don't need a biopsy. Nothing is wrong with you" Why did I have to endure all those tests AND the terrifying wait until I was told nothing was wrong! Something IS wrong! It's the system! But, nothing is wrong and my wife tells me I am very lucky. Now if I can only convince my brother in law to help us financialy. We have private school for two boys to pay for AND my wifes family will not help us. I am still taking the klonopin .5mg 6 times a day. Sometimes I take Ambien to sleep. 10mg. Sometimes I take some Prozac or the Wellbutrin.    (Sun Sep 17 15:32 2006)

Thank god it's the weekend. I have worked 5 night in a row at the hospital, 12 hour nights. There are not enough nurses anymore and those of us who are still able to drag out worn out and decrepid bodies to work are badgered to come back again. Day after day it's the same thing. I feel so guilty about leaving my co-workers short staffed. My family is worried about my health and my sanity. Thank goodness for the klonopin and tylenol pm. I wish I could just say "no" when the supervisor begs me to come back. I haven't shopped for groceries in two weeks. My laundry is piled up in the garage and the house needs vacuming. I have two dogs and a parrot. I have to leave the dogs out all night because they have accidents on the new carpeting and the laminate flooring smells like old urine. My husband can't cook, and he won't vacume or do laundry. I get so mad at him, but that only makes me feel even more quilty! My knees and feet are so painful from standing hour after hour on the hard concret and tile floor. My back aches from turning and lifing people so fat they can't even put on their own shoes and socks. Why did I decide to be a nurse anyway? The pay is good, but my body is ruined from all the lifting and turning that has to be done. The hospital gives us inservices on how to avoid back injuries, but it's really to appease OSHA. Even the physical therapist tries not to laugh when he explains how to pull up a 300lb person in bed. The guilt and anger is eating my very soul. I know this isn't healthy, but I have to go to work. My husband just bought a new harley and we just discovered major dry rot damage to the whole front of the house. Did I mention the knee surgury done on our aging rottweiler? Lifing the dog in and out of the suv did me in and I was bedridden for three days. If you read this Berry, I am praying for you.   (Sun Sep 17 15:14 2006)

Berry, I'm so sorry for sounding uncareing. You see. I can see myself in you! I don't have a wife. Not even a girlfriend. You are lucky to have a wife and a family. I set at home watching tv all weekend. Sometimes I go to the store. I may rent a movie or go to the laundromat. What an exciting life, hu? Yeah. Right. My mother tells me..."Phil lose some weight. Get involved in some sort of activity outside work. Get a pet. Do something!" Nothing seems interesting. I LIKE watching tv. My house is immaculate. I have a gardener come once a week. The maid comes everyday. Sometimes I am ambiguous.    (Sun Sep 10 14:02 2006)

Phil, I have to wonder if you actually have any kind of anxiety disorder. If you did, you would recognize that having operations would be at the top of the list of things to make us feel EXTREME anxiety. This place looks like the only place Berry has to vent the stress he is feeling. This stuff about 'being a man' is sooo invalidating of emotions! Every human being is entitled to their own feelings AND will reduce their anxiety level by naming the emotion AND expressing it. Berry, I can tell you've I've had both those tests, and although they aren't a picnic, you do get through them and it's good to have those results. For people with anxiety we often have to go through a barrage of tests because anxiety masks itself so many ways. Doctors cannot dismiss physical symptoms like chest pains or gastrointestinal distress even when they think it might be anxiety related - they have to check to be sure. Once you are cleared of all that physical stuff, you MUST get your anxiety taken care of. I don't know where you live, but speak to your doctors about any psychiatrists/psychologists/clinics in your area who specialize in anxiety disorders. These guys are expensive but when you find a good one he/she is worth their weight in GOLD because they will truly get you back on track and make your life worth living again. But research is important - use the net, make lots of calls, call your local hospitals to find out what anxiety specialists are in your area - find someone who YOU can relate to and make sure they earn the money you are paying them!

Phil, you also sound like you could use some help with interpersonal relationships. Way back you made a comment about things Berry should take to alleviate anxiety, when you knew full well that those things were not correct! You tried to explain it away as Berry reminding you of someone you know who you felt complains too much. Phil, that is YOUR issue and has nothing to do with Berry. If you are dismissive with people this way, if you constantly invalidate their feelings, and refuse to show compassion to others unless you feel that 'truly' are deserving of it, you will not only increase the anxiety level of those around you, you will also increase your own because you are judging, and not being accepting of others and the world around you. Let's be supportive, okay?   (Fri Sep 1 13:20 2006)

Can't say I feel sorry for you as your doc wants you to have these tests for your own good. Think of your wife and children. Think of the years ahead of you to live and enjoy a productive life. Read The Old Man and the Sea. This powerful short story epitomizes Mans stuggles against all odds. At any minute a neuclear holocost could end life on this Earth as we know it. And, you, selfishly, worry about two simple tests. Be a man Berry!    (Tue Aug 22 13:26 2006)

Hi all. Have been trying to put my life back together. Of course no one understands what I am going through. Tomorrow I am having an endoscopy and a colonoscopy. The past two weeks have been hell. And tomorrow is the judgment day. The doctor told me to take 20 mg of valium before the test. I am already taking the klonopin five times a day. I can only have clear liquids and for the first time God help me, I am having an alcoholic beverage. Just one of those flavored vodkas, perhaps the blueberry vodka. I don't know if I can make it through the day and the night without solid food. God help me again. My health is my own business, but the doctor frightened me into haveing these tests. Plus, there is one more test. I cannot even bring myself to speak of this next test. The other day driving home from work I felt like I was going to die. I think I am going to be fired from my job too. The tests are going to be done at the hospital because they are going to put in a catheter for medicine. The bowel prep makes me nauseated and I keep drinking chicken broth. I want solid food! Everything is crashing down on me in various ways. I want to be normal!!!   (Tue Aug 22 13:14 2006)

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