I am laying in bed sick and am amazed I have the capacity to be doing this. I have never looked up aropax support websites. I am horrified by the amount of suffering experienced by aropax withdrawals. I took my last tablets 1 week ago. I have been on aropax since oct 98. I have tried for years to get off the drug. I have shocking withdrawal symptoms even when weaning off for weeks and on minimal doses. My greatest concern that i am able to rationalise at this moment is the fact I feel a psychotic violence homicidal tendency alot of the time and have incredible self-harm incidences. I become irrational and ht my head and go off. I am afraid, and have told glaxo smith fuck, that I will hurt someone or myself in my times of rage. I am an absolut mess. My face is distorted uncontrollably, my brain is shuddering, I am hallucinating, vomiting, have diarrhea, shocking morbid thoughts that I cannot remove from my head. I am terrified at night beyond terror. I am having night terrors, terrifying sleeps, fear to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and hiding ynder the quilt on my partners side of the bed, because I am terrified of sleeping near the door. The difference between myself at the moment and a psychosis is that I am having a conscious psychosis. I need help desperately with withdrawals I know that. I am seeing things in ront of me when I drive and the visual distotions I am suffering should be a warning for people never to start aropax. I don't know why we can not have access to treatment like heroin addicts and other abusers do. Glaxo smith fuck should be paying for all aropax sufferers to be put in a private clinic such as Northside in sydney, so that we can safely be monitored coming off this horror drug. And pay for our life expenses while we are unable to work, study, parent or be carers. Aropax has ruled my life for too long and I am not going to be chained to a drug that is dangerous, irresponsible and fake with its wonders of performance. The withdrawals are now an issue of safety and security for our well-being. I won't give up though. While I am here in withdrawal hell, the bbi-chemists and multi-millionaire drug company bosses at glaxosmithkline are denying their part in being accountable. I don't want money, I want an admission that they fucked up years ago and that they will take it off the market all together. They cannot play with our lives. To everyone going through this, keep safe.    (Thu Jun 15 2:45 2006)

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