Ill make it short and sweet. I am 20 years old. I have been controlled by Social Anxiety all my life and didnt know it. I found drugs and alcohol in Highschool and thought i found the key. Soon turned into an all out addiction, and I could not do anything without being intoxicated. Benzos are a very effective way of getting rid of anxiety. I felt as though i was free, i could be James Dean if i wanted to. The pills let me feel normal. But i have the disease of addiction in my blood, which after i got sober, eliminated the benzos. The benzos were very life threatening for me and are narcotic. But after that I started SSRIs in hope that one may help releive some anxiety and depression. What worked for me was mixing Lexapro and Prozac. Dont try it on your own but ask a doctor about it. When i was getting off of Lexapro to start on Prozac, i was overlapping them for a few days. But for those few days i felt great, as if i was free again. Ofcourse shortly after stopping the Lexparo and only taking the Prozac, the anxiety came back. So i am starting the mix again, with a doctors permission, and I will post as to how it goes. Anxiety really really sucks. As does the disease of Addiction, but if anyone is out there who has these problems, you are not alone, and there is hope. C_Coates@live.com
(Tue Jul 1 15:36 2008)
i never really had a problem with anxiety until i got to college. i got to a big college and felt really alone there. in high school i played football so i always had friends by default. so instead of making new friends i made the huge mistake to hang out with local high school friends that were doing nothing with their lives. to this day my social life consists of sitting on a couch smoking weed with the same guys and im sick of it. honestly smoking weed is the worst thing to turn to, its made my anxiety horrible and it has gotten me no where socially. i got so depressed i had to live at home with my parents cause i was afraid i was going to kill myself. so now im a college student that drives to school every day walks from class to class not socializing with anyone. imagine a whole day seeing thousands of kids smiling, laughing, and being a part of something when your just lost in the shadows. right now my life sucks. you want to quit but im just not going to give up. i pray everyday to God to help me figure out what im supposed to be doing in this life. i respect you if you don't believe in God or have alternative views but it really helps to know that theres always someone there. my main stuggle is feeling that deep lonliness like nobody really cares and that i dont fit in. i really hope one day i can walk through the thousands of college students around me and not care anymore about what they think. i want to be cured, i want to be friends with everyone, and i hope all of u wont give up and try to fight this with me. FUCK what people think just do you. (Fri Apr 25 1:54 2008)
well i guees im the same as every body else on this site,same symptoms,same depressing storys,the last time i was out with my freinds who i forced out of my life,was 4 years ago im now 22and spend my friday and saturdays alone at home while my now 19 year old brothers go out and do stuff that i shoud have been doing how i have managed to turn into the loser older brother ill never know.i feel like my life is passing me by and all i can do is watch.i guess im slightly different in that i have 1 last link to the "outside world" through rugby but have just finished my first year at my new club where my uncle is assistant coach and have yet to make a single freind and just about every body at the club thinks im a weirdo and have recently found out that there is a rumour going around that im gay (im not) which added to the panic and anxiety i was a bit reluctant to move club because i didnt know anyone but i convinced myself in 1 of my stonger braver moments that this was the only way to get over my shyness which is what i thought it was at the time.my 1 true talent in life is rugby without blowing smoke up my own hole i have had people tell me that im good enough and will play international rugby but i cant mix socially the thought of walking into the changing rooms when everyone else is already there and try and make conversation when everyones eyes are on me is terrifying it gives me panic attacks and many sleepless nights ive gone 4 days without sleep and as result i have ended up missing so many training sessions that my coach thinks i dont give a shit about playing so he wouldnt play me when in actuallity rugby is the only thing that im willing to put myself through the torture of sleepless nights panic attacks sweating blushing sttuttering and pride swallowing embarrasment for.sometimes i wonder how ive ended up in the situation im in my only refuge is in my sleep then i wake up to the nightmare that is my life,this sounds a little crazy i know but sometimes i pray before i go to bed and honestly beleive that when i wake up this will all have been a bad dream and that ill be 15 again happy and without this fucking burden that i have to carry around by myself. (Thu Apr 3 18:01 2008)
It was kind of nice to know about the SA, because I was constantly been hit by something and I never knew what it was. I am afraid of people. Public talks about my work don't scare me that much, although I fell apprehensive. What really get me is what my colleges will think about me and what they can say about me when I am not around. The only ones I real trust is my husband and my nuclear family, and only with my husband I can really talk. (Fri Jan 18 7:56 2008)
I went out for a night with the boys, had a negitive comment made about me and the next morning i felt strange. It has grown into a full blown phobia and that was 3 years ago. Have good days and bad days. Friends think your letting them down when you can't go out for their birthdays and girlfriend are near impossible to have. (Thu Oct 25 8:47 2007)
Hello all (scored 104),
I just came across this site and wanted to ask everyone what kind of treatments have worked for them, and if anyone knows of support groups in the London (UK) area? I must admit I'm a bit sad to read about some of your experiences, especially those of you who have been bullied or abused, and those of you who are so young and suffer from SA!
I can't help feeling a bit bitter about ramjet's admission that he/she had a great childhood but still suffers from SA, since I have always attributed by condition to a crappy childhood (bullying, abuse, you name it). No offence ramjet. Perhaps SA is not merely psychological, but some kind of physical nervous disorder which predisposes people to being highly sensitive in every way, e.g. jumpy, easily scared, anxious, afraid of confrontation, sensitive to pain etc.
Like many of you (I know how you feel Zonk Zonk) I've struggled my whole life to "fit in" to any group. I've always felt isolated and although I've been around people, I always feel lonely somehow, like a ship passing me by, where everyone is having a good time, but all I can do is watch. I couldn't cope with school and dropped out, just like you Zonk Zonk I often feel like I'd like to drop a fuel air bomb over all the kids and teachers who made my life hell. But of course, I never would, and I really want to put the past behind me.
I am smart and qualified in many areas, but chronically limited in my career options, because I can't go for those high level management/consultant/senior positions (I'd have to give speeches, presentations, manage staff etc.) so I've tended to do work which involves minimal contact with people.
How can I describe it? As the poster "my life with 111" said, even a minor encounter is like the stress which soldiers face when preparing for combat. This is no joke and I am not denigrating the seriousness of combat stress, but really, I feel like I'm about to enter a combat zone. My heart is in my mouth, hands drenched in sweat, throat feels tight etc.
What is also sad about SA is that so many of us suffer from it, perhaps millions do, and yet we are all so isolated. I'm sure a million fans of a sports team, a religious group, a particular hobby or political philosophy find ways to get together, but we are fundamentally limited by the nature of SA.
As I have already mentioned, I am desperate to find a support group in London, England, and I am also contactable by email (sorry about the hotmail, but I don't really know any of you) or through message boards like this.
Oh btw the book I'm reading is called "Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness" by Gillian Butler. I got it from Amazon. It looks interesting so far, but really I don’t see how people like us can overcome this without the support of other human beings, who will not judge us but encourage us, so we can slowly acclimatise to human contact again.
I would like to wish all of you the best of luck in coping with SA.
(Sat Jun 16 17:33 2007)
Hi all! I suffer too of social phobia but I really don't have a clue as to why I got scared of going into malls or anywhere that has a lot of people because I mostly go to this places and enjoy much of it not until I knew from my doctors that i am experiencing panic disorder. I got really depressed and hated myself because of this disorder and it only made it worst, but I realize that if this is just a psychological disorder I could find ways to pull myself together and face my fear. So what I did was, since I work near in a shopping mall, I tried walking myself to the mall but it really scare the shit out of me and started to get anxious and now panic comes in. Even though I feel panic I still manage to tell myself that theres nothing to be scare off and everything is ok. I repeatedly working this to fight myself not being so anxious and nervous and it pays off. Though I'm not 100 percent cure with this disorder but by knowing what Anxiety and panic disorder really is and by being positive to find some ways to cope up and cure myself I gain control over it and I improve a lot better than before. Hope you guys could find some ways to help yourself and dont get helpless on having this disorder because it will make you even worst. (Sun Jan 21 22:56 2007)
hi im neil im 21 from london.this is the first time i have ever looked into my problem and thought it was just the way i was ment to be.i realy want help as i feel like i have nothing in life now because of the lifestyle i had to chose because of s/a.im in deep depressiom and have talked to no-one ever about my problems.i cant speak if im in the company of more than 3 people or i just go red and feel stupid.can anything/anyone help me.or i fear i wont be around much longer.i come from a normal family/have normal friends.but feels like im losing everyone around me daily.feel like no-one respects me because i dont respsect myself.help me please (Thu Dec 14 11:14 2006)
Hope that this helps everyone,,I am also on a anti-depressant medication(Lexapro 10 mg)have been on it since Nov.6, 2006. and it seems to be helping me alot. I am also dealing with social problems too have had it for years and this seems to be helping that too..I use to cry every day and was so terribly depressed..I have to go back to the doctor on the 5th of Feb.hope you all do better and feel better just hang in there... (Sat Dec 9 19:18 2006)
Yes, I experience involuntary head-shaking upon eye contact. Let me know when you find out what causes it. (Wed Oct 18 1:18 2006)
I have a very different kind of anxiety then the rest of you guys. it's kind of embrassing to talk about but i need help to either get rid of it of put it way, way back in the corner somewhere to gather dust. (Fri Sep 8 9:41 2006)
i turned 40 this yr, and have been living w s/a since my daughter was diagnosed at the age of 14. she is now 23.does anybody else have problems w their head shaking in front of people at weird times but ur not physically scared? p.s. tired of going thru this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Sun Aug 27 19:09 2006)
I didnt develop social anxiety until I was about 18. I
had a pretty normal social life at school. I had quite a
few boyfriends and things were great but felt a little
shy sometimes with certain people, certainly totally
comfortable with my friends
My mother died and social anxiety hit me like a
tonne of bricks, my solution was to drink more
alcohol ( Ihad found my life savior wow) I could
socilise everynight of the week with even the people I
didnt feel comfortable with, still not having SA with
my close friend and family. I drank an ass load of
alcohol and had heaps of fun lots of boyfriends, very
popular with all people (in fact people would not go
out clubing unless I was going I was finally the centre
of attention.
I have fucked up over 10 years of my life worring
about being social and I am not the centre of
attention anymore I am a damn alcoholic (such more
of a battle than social phobia)
Whoever reads this keep off the piss as much as you
can you are only self medicating (Sun Aug 6 8:18 2006)
I'm 17 years old and i'm from hawaii. paradise? it should b... unfortunately I cant bring myself to enjoy it any more. untill about a year and a half ago, I was everything you guys arent. I had tOO many friends, I was outgoing, Charasmatic and all that. had girlfriends, the works. But I also should mention thAt they were all druggies and so was I.so you can kinda get a clearer picture of where it went from there. well basically I did drugs all that time, and about two years ago I finally dropped the habbit. I realized ALSO that if i ver hoped to stay clean I'd have to lose the "friends" too. well scince then I've been in pure seclusion everyday and slowy I lost my personality and ambition. and now I feel like a loser everywhere I go,I always feel like Im beeing judged by people and their EYES, I'm scared the leave my house all the time and I've completely lost contact with the outside world it seems. and when I DO come into contact with people, I always do things like blush, and twitch my face uncontrollobly(i know i spelt that wrong), my palms and head prespire more and I feel as though I cant speak, or look people in the eyes when I AM talking to anybody. It wasnt ever this bad and I'm at the point where I FINALLY realize that this is a problem that if I dont fix, will definitely hold me back in life. But I dont really know where to start. I'll do anything but medication. I dont like the thought of having to take a pill to manipulate my emotions. Please HELP.or something. (Sun Jul 16 17:58 2006)
I've had it since I was at least 16. Tried all types of medications until using the DSM III-R and finding out I have Atypical Depression, GAD, SP and Dysthemia. I started taking Nardil & Valium in 93 and it was like a miracle cure, the magic bullet. Hope this can help someone as most doctors won't prescribe it due to the possibility of a hypertensive crises which never happened to me in the 13 years I took it. After years of failure with Tricyclics and SSRI's, I'm happy I finally did my own research. (Mon Jul 3 12:41 2006)
I just wanted to make a comment about your post, David. Hopefully you can read this. Instead of self-medicating with alcohol, there are pill form medications called benzodiazepines that act in the same way as alcohol. They help release the inhibitory neurotransmitter, GABA. In your post you said that you wish there was a pill that acted like alcohol, so i just wanted to let u know that there is. However there are downsides to benzodiazepines. I suggest you read into it. (Fri May 5 20:49 2006)
I'm currently not diagnosed with anything, but I'm certain, along with my family, that I have social anxiety. I have a serious problem with shyness that I have had for many years, but I thought it would go away and it hasn't. I dread having to talk. I actually hate it when people talk to me or ask me to talk. I fear confrontation. I hate talking to people. Before, I use to hate ordering Pizza. It would become a huge issue. But now, I can order a pizza, but with hesitation. I have to arrive to school on time or I don't go at all because I hate having all those people looking at me. I need help. I'm 19 years old and unemployed and have no medical insurance for any doctor visits. (Sat Apr 15 18:47 2006)
ok i was just like you guys in high school- now i graduated law school. No one in high school liked me, I used to walk around by myself, people would make fun of me everyday, my mom hated me- I was really nice to everyone, so I figured it was because they thought I was ugly. (I am probably pretty normal looking though). I went to a junior college after high school, everyone else went to stanford and smart places. It was so much better at the college, no one knew me, so they didnt think anything bad about me and didnt think I was weird. Since I gained some friends, I gained a little bit of confidence, started doing really well at school, I transferred to UCSD, and now I graduated from law school. Some days I still get really sad and have a social anxiety thing, but most days its ok and I realize that Im not that bad. You guys sound the same way. Just wait until you get into a new school or college or workplace, and try to act happier and when people start being friends with you, you will realize there isnt anything really wrong with you- and your life isnt half bad. (I know its easier said than done) But just make yourself have fun sometimes, even hang out with your siblings or family or even find 1 friend or transfer schools- when you start making friends life is better. Even if you join some nerdy type of groups like 'international' club or environmental club etc, find people that are nicer. (Thu Mar 30 16:27 2006)
modorate amounts of alcohol are the greatest thing in the world, i become freed from the chains of social anxiety, its the best, but one needs to be careful not totake too much, i wish they made a pill that acts like alcohol but doesnt have the negative effects, also i think its so effective because it inhibits over cognition, ppl with social anxiety use their brain too much in social situations, this might not work for everyone but it works like magic for me, i can be myself its the best, but remember not to drink too much, 3 beers is perfect, or 1-2 shooters.
cheers (Wed Mar 29 15:14 2006)
I see I'm not the only one with this condition. I've had similar experiences with most of you. I just never had a name for it before now-> AvPD.
feel free to chat-
aim: chikaraga
email: bjp085@hotmail.com (Wed Mar 15 18:46 2006)
why by
zack the no friends loser again, im home by myself on a friday night. failing my classes in school isnt helping my anxiety and depression. so i was supposed 2 enter a dodgeball tourney with my so-called "school friends". they kicked me out of their group, happens all the time to me. in school very few ppl socialize with me. no girls even come near me. one girl was trying 2 b nice to me on the bus but i was way 2 nervous 2 speak up. im not ugly or anything but im known as the kid who doesnt talk so ppl dont even notice me. im very insecure and self-conscious. when it comes to peforming in anything i shy away from it. i dont like being in an altercation at all. my parents yell nonstop every day. my dad tried 2 kick my ass a few days ago but i locked myself in my room. he tried 2 knock the door down but it didnt happen. i like being outside but being by urself isnt 2 fun. i went snowboarding 4 my b-day last week. i had no one 2 take with me so i went with my sister. i saw so many ppl enjoying themselves with thier friends. it makes me feel so less than everyone else. i hate social anxiety. but everyone does some day so fuck having a social life.
(Fri Feb 24 19:58 2006)
i have had this now for nearly 3 years it happen after i was in a car crash i have been in another one since the first one and now i cant sit in the back of a car this is controling my life as i have no social life any more i cant sit in a car if i cant see out of the front window i get sweaty palms and i feel like i am going to crash everytime am in a car and i am now to scared to do driving lesson and i no this may help cause i will be in control of the car but i think to my self it does not have to be me that causes the crash i am waiting for my treatment to start and i really hope this will help me get over my worry of being in cars!!!! (Thu Feb 23 7:20 2006)
I dont have any freinds either too bad you dont live closer. We could talk about how bad life sucks ass together haha. My names Lyndsie by the way im 16 too you pretty much sound exactly like me except I dont go too school or I almost pass out. Well if you ever want to talk to somone who wont just put you down or just lecture you about the same old sh1t email me somtime shoronentou@aol.com (Thu Feb 16 13:03 2006)
hey whats up. i've been suffering from Social anxiety and depression since the 8th grade.(now im a junior in High School). i really dont have any friends. after school i usually go home and play xbox live all day. i get sad and really depressed on the weekends cuz no one ever wants 2 hang out with me. its my fault though, im just not good enough 4 anyone. i get made fun of all the time 4 having no friends. i've only told 1 person that i think about killing myself and he just laughed at me and said i was fucked up in the head. i feel like im always being rejected as if my life was a mistake. my parents just yell and fight all day and it they tell me im the one who makes them angry at each other. my siblings all go straight A's and are doing great in college. im in danger of failing all my classes this trimester. when im in school i only talk 2 a few ppl. only guys cuz im way 2 scared 2 talk to girls. before this year i sat by myself at lunch. on a typical night i cry to sleep or go in my bathroom and cut myself. now most of the kids in school know i cut myself because the only person i told was a blabber mouth. im always hoping my anxiety will disappear some day but im so negative about the future and i know im a complete loser. my one friend(out of like 3) steve donahue is like the coolest kid ever. but 2 bad he never wants 2 hang out with me, so i feel even more rejected. it seems the only the ppl that talk 2 me r the ones that feel bad 4 me. i hope i can play football my senior year and get a full-ride scholar ship. 2BAD IM A FUCKING FUTURE FAILURE WHO NEEDS 2 KILL HIMSELF. so i dont know what im going 2 do (Sun Jan 29 1:21 2006)
I've started thinking the way you've suggested. Its actually helping a lot. Sometimes I still avoid things, but for the most part I'm getting over it, because you're right, I don't judge people in those situations, so why should they do so to me?
Thanks so much for your help..
(Fri Jan 27 15:52 2006)
Megan,
I can relate to you, 100% ... literally. I'm in college now but all throughout high school (and even now, to a degree) I experienced exactly what you're describing. I don't like terms like "disorder," but what you're experiencing also isn't "normal," either. Whatever it is, it is you, and if you're not happy, then it's definitely not good. When I have periods of bad anxiety (and experience situations like you describe) it can help me to put myself in other people's shoes to calm me down. For example, when you eat with someone, do YOU give a damn if that person is smearing food all over his or her face? If you're talking on the phone, are YOU judging the person on the other line? Going to laugh at him if he can't think of something to say or it gets awkward? Obviously the answers are all no, and you need to realize that the people you're around aren't judging you and watching your every move. With anxiety, we tend to overestimate the danger involved in situations we're confronted with. Like the phone call, for example. It is a very very scary thought to call someone, but this is clearly not rational. There is really little or no danger in calling someone. What's the ABSOLUTE worst that could happen? The phone call could go badly and you could get laughed at. Two days from now no one will ever remember what happened. I guess what I'm saying is, try to force yourself to think more rationally, and put yourself in others' shoes, and realize that the way people look at you is the same as how you look at them. It's something that helps me when I have to present infront of a class. When I watch someone present, I don't care if they do well or not, but for some reason when I'm up there I feel like everyone is judging me -- waiting for me to mess up -- so they can laugh at me and make my life miserable ... but this obviously isn't the case, and I have to reassure myself of this.
I think it's really important that you talk to people you can trust about what's going on, as well as work on it yourself. Definitely DON'T ignore it, because that's pretty much what I did, and I missed out on a lot in high school. If you asked those around me, they wouldn't say I was antisocial, but they don't realize how reserved I was, even when I was forcing myself to interact. I didn't ask girls out or go to prom or do a lot of the things that I really wished I had. Things are certainly better now, but it's still something I have to work on.
Last, remember this, the people who you matter to, and who matter to you ... the people you love ... all care about you and will care about you no matter what you do or say. With anxiety we freak out about the people who don't matter to us and we don't matter to, as if they hold some key to the purpose of our life. They don't, they don't matter ... who cares what they think? Just work on being yourself. Easier said than done, I know, but something to think about.
Hope this helps..
Zach
aim: blue3kgt
email: zooshx@aol.com (Tue Jan 17 20:12 2006)
i'm sixteen and i'm not even sure if i have social anxiety. my dad told me i'm just easily anxious, and my mom says i don't have a "disorder." they do complain that i won't call people on the phone, i'll do anything to get out of having to call, i hate parties and crowds and i never eat in front of just one other person. i always need a large group of friends around to eat in public, or eat at home. the thought of meeting new people at parties makes me feel so sick i could vomit. but besides all that, i love to act on stage and sing, and i can be sort of outgoing among people i know. i'm so confused. i want to get some help for whatever this is, but i have no name for it. can someone help me? (Mon Jan 9 20:27 2006)
I have read all of your entries. As a person who does not suffer from a social anxiety disorder, all of this talk is very upsetting. You must understand that life really isn't as bad as you think it is. It is your brain telling you it is because of a chemical imbalance of serotonin and other chemicals. Think of the people in your life, primarily family members, who love you and look forward to you and your future. Killing yourself is really no way out. You must take responsibility about the way that you feel and express your feelings to people. Your parents are the best place to start. For Zack, don't think that everyone is focusing on you in school...high school is a VERY hard time and everyone is just trying to make it through. Most people in highschool are trying to figure out where they fit in. You are important and don't forget that. (Sat Jan 7 11:55 2006)
hi im 18 yrs old and been suffering with night anxiety for 2 years now. well i think its anxiety. to me its the worst feeling in the world. it all started with the i cant breathe feeling everynight and because i have asthma i thought it was that and i would be on my nibuliser everynight. i stared to get the worry feeling in my stomache which got my so worked up that i wouldnt stop vomiting. i would shake, get dizzy and faint. i felt like i was dying i would always feel my palse and tense my arms to the point wer they would start to ache it was a habbit that i couldnt stop along with making myself burb and other stupid things. i always touch my throat and wen i feel the little grooves i freak out because i think its not normal. i would look in the mirror and think that my eyes are sinking into my head. i would look at the veins in my arms n think they were turning purple. yes i know its stupid but i dont understand why i thought theses things. why this is happening. the only thing that would ever help me is when my mum comes and holds my hand. i think its because i feel safe with her. for 2 years now ive been sleeping in my mums bed with her holding my hand. she is the only person i feel safe with. i dont feel safe with my brother, my boyfriend or any of my friends. i think its because they just tell me to get over it that its nothing that im putting it on. but im not. i HATE the feeling i really really HATE it. i want it to go away i want my poor mum to be able to sleep at night and not worry about me. i started to get like this after my father had an affair n left my mother, my older brother and i for a s**t. i dont know if im like this because of my dad. i dont know, maybe i miss him. i would just like to know if anyone feels or gets the same stupid effects that i do and if so what they are doing to try and stop it. (Fri Jan 6 7:32 2006)
well, i found a way to calm myself down. i cut my wrists with a knife when ever i get frustrated or mad at myself. it does the job. its way better than killing myself
(Fri Dec 16 14:58 2005)
I agree Zack, its not fair to have mental problems. No one gets what its really like unless they themselves have it. I cant explain why I sometimes lose my mind and have the urge to cut myself just so I can snap out of it. Sometimes I go outside and sit for hours just to feel numb from the cold. I take 3 different types of meds to counterbalance, anti-depressants are never enough for me. I'm 40, never been in a psych ward because I get help before hand. And as for friends, its too hard having them if you hate yourself. So relax on that one. Just live. Thats all there really is. Though sometimes I scream why me? I don't get the answer. Take care. (Fri Dec 9 16:55 2005)
why do i have to have mental disorders? i mean i just want to be a NORMAL TEENAGER. its not my fault i want to kill myself, its just that nobody cares about me. If i would DIE no one could give a fuck. also i asked someone to give me 1 good reason not to commit sucide. the motherfucker couldnt come up with shit. i stay inside and play video games all day and in school everyone thinks im a nerdy outcast who has no friends. GUESS WHAT. they're 100% right. people fucking treat me like dog shit and i just want someone to notcie me and talk to me. i guess im just not good enough for this world. (Sat Dec 3 3:28 2005)
yeah, i understand what you mean by "sticking it out". but i just got done with eating thanksgiving dinner. i couldnt even sit at the table with my family. my paxil doesnt really help me relax around people. but still from time to time i cant take being alive, its just too stressful and painful. i hope i can make it. : (
(Fri Nov 25 2:06 2005)
i meant 6 years, not 8
see? there i go again, caring what you guys think... (Tue Nov 22 23:50 2005)
Hey Zack, your situation is pretty much me when I was in high school, and I'm likely you in 8 years. I'm 24, been suffering from this shit since as long as I remember. The only reason I haven't killed myself is because of my atheism. I studied cognitive science in college, and science today points out that it's really unlikely the mind (soul, if you will) resides outside the brain. Short answer: you don't go anywhere when you die. It's EXACTLY like how you were before you were born. My advice to you: stick in there, use alcohol to deal with social situations (BUT DONT DRINK WHEN YOURE ALONE), and go to college. You don't have to be social if you go to a big enough college; I just stuck to my work and didn't make a single friend. Oh, and video games are great (I play counterstrike), fuck anyone who says you're a loser. There's even a lot of jobs testing games (they call it QA) that you can apply for... just make sure you graduate from college so you can get those jobs. (Tue Nov 22 23:49 2005)
Social anxiety disorder. Wow. And I just thought I was a crazy, fucked up recluse! (Sun Nov 20 18:40 2005)
Hi Zack I have read your previous posts and wanted to respond. Glad you are taking Paxil, evrything you do to take control of your life is great. I hate Novemeber 12, the last day you posted, my best friend in all the world blew his brains out. That was 23 years ago and I still am pissed that he took the dumb way out. I have suffered from depression for over twenty years, it comes and goes, life is still better than maggots eating your corpse. Your Mom needs to get a brain and check out the facts too. As for friends, you got to try to find a way to reach out, why not find someone who likes Halo as much as you? Anything is better than nothing. (Mon Nov 14 23:40 2005)
hey boys and girls, its me again. i've finally started taking my paxil. it has helped somewhat. i still dont care about anything. my mom is a fucking bitch about me not wanting to do anything. she doesnt understand that i cant enjoy one moment of being alive. i try to find "THAT THING" that would make me feel at least not depressed. i usually play my xbox alone in my basement. and i cant remember the last time someone from school wanted to hang out with me. and girls just think im a weird nerdy white guy who is still a virgin at age 16. my emotions are really out of order. i have a lot of mental disorders. kods from school say i have "problems" and dont want anything to do with me. i never get asked to come over a "friend's" house. i relly dont have any friends. my mom calls me a loser and a future failure. i just want to know where people go after they die. (Sat Nov 12 1:03 2005)
hi air crew girl, i feel for u and i know
exactly how u feel. i am 22 and cant relax
sumtimes in public and it is fuking shit i
cant stand it. i also avoid social
situations. i hav just lost my job and i
dont know how i will go in getting another
one. i am thinking of getting on xanex wot
do u think. i am in the same boat as u. i
will send u an email later on. its good to
know there r young people out there that
feel like me to. i know its fuked up. its
like wen i'm in public i hate people to the
fullest to its messed up. just stay in there
and keep in touch with me we can get through
this shit. (Fri Sep 9 0:35 2005)
hello. i suffer from social anxiety and deppression. i don't have any friends, and my husband thinks i'm crazy. i got married a year ago and two days after i was married i started to have panic attacks, and my doc diagnosed me with this shit! i was molested twice when i was 7. once by my mother's ex boyfriend and once by my own brother. it really fucked me up. i just never noticed until now, i'm 21. Now, i fucking hate all people, well that's how i feel when i'm in public. i don't think i've trusted anyone ever. right now i'm in the military and of course the bastards are kicking me out b/c of this and i don't know what i'm going to do for a job.....my life is really confusing right now. any suggestions on how to overcome it. i've been on zoloft, xanax, klonopin, and i see a therapist. (Thu Sep 8 15:07 2005)
Sometimes when I have to give a presentation, I get so anxious I am unable to control my bowels. It starts with a painful gas buildup in my stomache, then within the first few moments of my presentation, quickly advances to a series of raunchy foul smelling farts followed by a warm stream of diarreah running down my leg. Could someone tell me if this is a normal function of social anxiety disorder, or could it possibly have something more to do with an injury I recieved back in Nam. In other words, can Inderal help cure my public poopy britches? (Fri Aug 26 0:07 2005)
I forgot the only reason i havent killed my self is because of little game called Halo 2. God im addicted to that shit (Tue Aug 2 2:34 2005)
I am 16. I have a bad case of social anxiety disorder. When i got to school it feels like everyone is focused on me. I usually stay home and pretend to be sick. I havent had a girlfriend since elementary school. I only have a few friends. I cant pick up or talk on the phone. My family doesnt understand why i dont do anyhting. I'm going to be put on medication soon. I am also depressed. I think about committing suicide from time to time, not there yet though. I usually make fun of other people to feel good. It only lasts for so long. I hate myself. There is no reason to live. FUCK LIFE (Tue Aug 2 2:23 2005)
i have serax and prozac combo and they work well together. the only current side effect is occasionally not getting enough sleep. (Sat Jul 16 23:02 2005)
I have been taking zoloft for social anxiety and it is not working. should I try something else. (Sun Jul 3 0:36 2005)
I am now 46years old. I have sufferred from social & agrophobia since I was in High School. I have tried many times to commit suicide. (unfortunately didn't work) I am currently on Effexor XR and Xanax, however feel that they are not working for me. I had to resign from so many jobs because of this anxiety/panic attack syndrome. I fear mixing with people, cannot leave the house, can no longer enjoy myself. I am married with a dog, no children. I feel inadequate, cannot sustain frienships, wake up in the mornings shaking uncontollably then have to take 3 or 4 Xanax in order to get out of bed and function. I'd been out of work for a few years due to these anxiety issues. I have finally found a doctor who is at the very least taking care of me. He encouraged me to take a job in a bank. Then after a few weeks I had an horrific panic attack. I had to resign. Now I have been sent to a Mental Hospital for CBT treatment within the next couple of weeks as an outpatient. I don't know where I belong. I was molested as a child from 5 yrs to 14 yrs. My marriage is ok. We're kind of like just friends now but deep down I have not known trust or love. I love animals as humans, but don't trust humans at all. I am totally isolated in a small town where gossip is rife. I've spent my whole life feeling insecure and hiding behind tablets to no avail. Hope someone out there can give me some insight. Have been reading many books on CBT and psychology etc. Do I need putting down? Is there any future for me? At my age it is quite difficult to find a job, and doctors say that I should go on a disability pension. I find this repulsive. I wan't to work and work well, but am unable to do so at this time. I've been sacked from almost every job I've ever held. I have so many fears it's quite unbelievable. My husband has sort of come to terms with me, but is truly not that interested in what I'm going through. He means well, but as he does not suffer from these conditions, he does not actually understand what it's like to live without living. I'm not an alcoholic. In fact I loathe alcohol, cannot find why people like it so much - tastes disgusting. So if anyone has any suggestions please feel free to email me: lee-bob@bigpond.com.au
I'm in Tasmania, Australia. (Sat Jun 4 2:02 2005)
Hi it is great to know that we are not alne with our depression
so i am happy that i didn´take my life.we should work on our weak point to get rid of it and know many people have been or still suffring more than this. we suffer from this ,and many are suffering from other problems.we should attak the life.there are many who like us.if you dont think so it´ for deprresion and not real. please talk to a therapist who knows about it.becouse people around you dont know about such problems. (Fri Apr 9 18:12 2004)
I am not able even talk for 2 or 3 friends of mine .when i go to doctor i fill bad.when the policeman asks me about anything I scare and start shaking and sweting then they think something is wrong until i explain to them that i am a phobia.it has made me depresed so i take cipralex and fill better.but cipralex helped 80% to deprresion and 30% to my social phobi . (Fri Apr 9 18:02 2004)
I have social anxiety. When I go to group therapy or go to a class, I feel like I am going to cry and that everybody can see how depressed I am. But I dont allow myself to cry. People start smiling at me mockingly because I look so scared like a deer. I also dont allow myself to relax because for some reason I think if I relax my jaw that I will look feminime and I will be physically assaulted by a particular group member who I am afraid of because he looks kind of "thugish". I feel that I have to "break on through to the other side" and go ahead and cry and get it out the way. But I dont allow myself to do it. (Thu Mar 18 23:57 2004)