I think these tests make it so much worse. I went into
therapy initially for depression and she ended up talking to
me about social anxiety disorder. I knew I had problems, but
to take all these tests and come out with severe ratings on all
of them??? It makes me feel like so much more of a loser.   (Wed Jun 18 20:19 2008)

So i have only had anxiety now for over 2 years, and i hate it. i move alot because of my dads job, and when i moved to qatar, i thought wow i am gonna meet some really nice people, and when i went to school, the first day i sat alone, and figured well yeah no it happens its my first day, well on the second day i panicked because i was scared i would sit by myself again, and i kept panicking, it was the worst feeling in the world. For two weeks everyday i would stand at the end of my mothers bed begging her not to make me go to school. I did see a theripist, and it helped i guess, but now that i have moved again, and i am 17 going into grade 12, i am terrified to go to school. i live in canada and i want to find an online school that is cheap because i will have to end up paying for it. My mom keeps telling me its going to be okay you will meet friends, but i no that on the first day of school, if i dont meet anyone, at luch, i am going to end up walking home (and its like a 1 1/2 walk) and i dont think i will go back. I hope that i meet people, because i actually want to go to university. please does anyone no an online school for anxiety sufferers, or just an online school in canada available to me?   (Thu Aug 9 18:51 2007)

Hi artless, love your posts as well!. I think it's great to be able to come here and share how we feel and have other people who uderstand how we feel, but it can also be a place where we can start sharing how something is helping us get out of feeling anxious and help each other this way. Artless, I agree that we have to stop feeling sorry for ourselves. I know I've cried so many tears wanting anxiety to go away that I realize now that this feeling of hopelessness doesn't help, we shouldn't justify it because it's a defeatest attitude and in fact I have just been miserable for that time period, I have to say though that over the past 2 years I feel like God has shown me the root causes of my anxiety, thank God.. it's not gone but atleast I know what the problem is and can work towards changing it. I think it's important to know what's causing it before it can be fixed. I believe that anxiety is a result of negative thoughts and panic attacks a result of high levels of anxiety. it's not that easy changing thought patterns though, for me a situation as basic as passing someone, mostly younger people in the mall overwhelms me because my mind is so used to thinking anxious thoughts, somehow I feel negative and intimidated and think that they see me that way and that they have some sort of power to make me feel that way, because of past experiences i guess. I feel bad admitting it but I have to confess that this is how my mind works..now the people I pass on the street are perfectly harmless but when put in the situation my mind thinks they are harmful in some way which causes the anxiety.

Being a Christian I heard this phrase from the Bible: "Perfect love casts out fear" and all along I thought that it meant that if I loved everyone around me, fear would leave but as hard as I tried I found it impossible to love everyone especially difficult people and fear was not leaving, then i read something today, something Joyce Meyer(a preacher)had said.she experienced the same thing and came to the conclusion that no one could love anyone perfectly but God...so God's love for us should cast out fear...and I think that's what the bible passage means. God's love is perfect and therefore greater than any rejection we may face in the world and therefore it conquers the fear of rejection. For those with social anxiety, when we are around maybe a family member or a close friend, we know we are loved and therefore don't experience that fear... their love casts out fear, how much more God's if we came to that realization right?. maybe we need to be more aware of that truth wherever we go and train our mind to see ourselves the way God sees us.I've started this through small situations....when I see a group of young poeple and know my mind is going to start thinking anxiously, I immediately picture myself the way God would see me from up above and before I know it I have passed them with no anxious thoughts...I just don't allow my mind to start thinking about how they see me, instead try seeing myself through God's eyes but it needs to be done every time until it becomes second nature and it's important not to give up hope if we feel overwhemed sometimes by the situation and find that we can't do it, it's like taking your mind to another place at that time and keeping it there, it take practice.

I truly believe there's hope for everyone no matter how long you've had the anxiety and I pray that God would enlighten every single person to what's causing the anxiety and help you all in overcoming it.

Take care and God Bless,
~angelina~
   (Thu Jun 7 12:53 2007)

i hate it   (Sat May 19 1:36 2007)

=) I love your posts   (Mon Apr 30 14:55 2007)

everything you put into your body affects the way you feel..... some people more than others. Anxiety correlates stress, rest,what you put into your body and physical stress, hence the saying body mind and spirit.   (Mon Apr 30 14:38 2007)

we are what we are, there are people from all walks of life with all sorts of complications, we may have some that we dont see in others but others may have problems that they dont see in us.. and envy us. The key to happiness is to accept every bit of yourself even the bad. Ive noticed that a lot of people with anxiety are self centred, maybe its time to start giving out some love in order to recieve it. Being cold misrable and distant isnt going to help you or anyone is it??   (Mon Apr 30 14:14 2007)

NOW IS THE TIME TO MAKE A CHANGE! THE GREATEST PEOPLE GOT WHERE THEY ARE BECAUSE THEY HAD SOMETHING NEGATIVE TO MOTIVATE THEM TOWARDS SOMETHING POSITIVE! IF WE FEEL LIKE SHIT, THEN WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE DO WE???? WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH THE TOUGH GET GOING. WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE CRAP EXPECT IT TO GET WORSE NOT BETTER, THAT WAY YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO WHEN YOU REALISE THATS ITS NOT GOING TO GET WORSE. I find that achieving things when I feel the worst feels really good in comparison to doing something when everything is ok.
   (Mon Apr 30 13:51 2007)

It will take me too long to explain why and how foods affect the way we feel on a scientific level. I have studied food science, and other sciences. Ill keep it as simple as possible. The less you sleep the worse your anxiety gets. Carbohydrates help you relax hence sleep, proteins stimulate your brain activaty ( if you have undesirable brain activity going on consuming alot of protein will icrease this ) coffee is a seed! seeds contain concentrated plant information, seeds are not neccesarily supposed to be eaten, coffee increases anxiety! but if you must the best time to have it is when you wake up just to snap out of the groggy feeling, dont overdo it! spices are seeds that contain plant information, the more aromatic the more complex and concentrated the plants chemicals will be, spices are seeds, coffee is a seed !!! aromatic seeds stimulate our brains and stimulants increase anxiety. Stay away from pepper, curries, fennel seeds and all spices if you want to sleep well, sleeping well will diminish anxiety. Herbs can either be stimulating or relaxing: parsley and dill are stimulating, mint, peppermint and sage will drive you insane!!! dont consume cold relief lollies they contain mint derivatives. rosemary is ok, basil is relaxing, coriander is stimulating. Too much Vitamin C increses metabolism of amino acids, amino acids make up protein, too much protein metabolism = more anxiety. Cheese should never be eaten late at night, it causes nightmares, nightmares = bad sleep and more anxiety. Tea is not relaxing, I dont even want to believe it! Tea increses the chemical in your brain that is the root of anxiety "Glutamic acid". Alcohol makes anxiety worse and doesnt let you sleep well. The best way to get to sleep is a slice of white toast (not wholemeal) with butter, and a cup of warm camomile (no sugar) a little bit of butter before you go to bed slows your metabolism and also your heart rate helping you relax. Camomile is extrememly relaxing as long as you havent been consuming spices, too much coffee or herbs that give you unrest. Lastly dont over exercise, it increses stress levels, people with anxiety suffer from enough stress. If you must exercise do it during the day and never before bed. Follow these rules and youll put anxiety under the thumb.   (Mon Apr 30 13:25 2007)

Hello all. I just took the test and scored a 40. I figured it would be bad because or how I feel every day. Befor I was 15 I was fine you know going out haven fun being with people but then at the age of 15 I lost my mother to a heart attack and I never knew my dad. That thier had triggered my depression. A couple months later I met a guy and we hit it good at this time I was not haven anxiety. Shortly after we got together we moved about 3 hours away from my family. I say I wanted to but I know I was just running away from the fact that I lost mom because I couldn't handle it. Every day when some1 walk in the house I would run to the door thinking that it would be her and knowing deep down that shes never coming back I couldn't handle it so I had to get out of there. So after we moved it was going ok I wasn't thinking as much as I was at the house me and my mom lived in. Then in time our relationship started to get hard, to hard for me to handle. Everytime something went bad all I could do is want my mom. Then 1 day his mom moved in with us and it was ok for abit but then I started thinking to myslef that they were always talking about me and that she didnt like me and it was driven me crazy. A couple years passed by with no anxiety yet then I got pregnat and had a misscarage. And then a few months went by and I suddenly it felt like my eart was skiping beats, I cant sit still and that drives my boyfriend crazy, I cant go out and meet people or go to partys because every time I do I feel like I cant breath and my heart skips beats. Its driven me crazy. So after 5 years liven away from my family I started to very home sicks and had to move back and after awhile I didnt have so many attack and it started to slow down. But still I have problems going out and haven fun. And this has effect my relationship with my boyfriend. He is now wanting to break up with me because I cant enjoy myself, I cant go out and go to bars or cluns and thats the stuff he likes to do but it scares me to be around people and I cant do it. I have no money and no insurane to get help and I want help so much I want to be able to have fun and go out and be happy with myself but I dont know how to.   (Fri Apr 20 10:19 2007)

37 all these tests are coming out bad and i cant stand it, i just want to be like a normal teenager being able to enjoy life but i cant,its just not fair!!!!!!!!!!   (Sat Apr 7 19:33 2007)

Also, I forgot to add in my previous post that obsessive thoughts that worry us have become reality to us and most often they are NOT TRUE, Thinking and saying the direct opposite -positive thoughts, if done repeatedly will start to become REALITY and anxiety will cease. Anxiety is like a side effect as a result of our thoughts. think about it....if we think that our worries are in fact worries and real, why doesn't everyone else have it, why isn't everyone else worrying about it. We have unfortunately let those negative thoughts become reality to us by thinking them repeatedly and therefore believing them. Start doing the opposite, think positive thoughts that will combat the negative ones. Don't even think about the neagtive thoughts and how you feel. Start the change, it lies within you and everyone is capable of doing this. Don't let it control you.
For those with social anxiety, truly start loving yourselves and keep reaffirming who you are - a child of God and ask God to help you see yourself the way he sees you- if that's not reality I don't know what is.

God Bless,
~angelina~   (Tue Mar 27 14:03 2007)

I think that the more we talk about anxiety unfortunately the more powerful it becomes in our minds. Anxiety is triggered by thoughts. We have to realize that we have to be in control of our minds, NOTHING else and NOONE ELSE. Only we know what we are going through and we have to bring ourselves out of it with the help of God ofcourse and we have to realize that it is our thoughts that control everything. God is bigger than this anxiety and you know what so are we but its going to take practise and time. For me it is social anxiety hopefully I'm getting out of it, I'm realizing that this type of anxiety is caused by feelings of inadequacy, thoughts put into my mind throughout my school years. Every morning now I get up and reaffirm who I am - a child of God, it helps to look in the mirror when doing this and even if at this point it doesn't feel like you believe it, continue to do it all the time if you can because just as those thoughts that cause the anxiety are given power because we keep thinking about it and talking about it, we can give power to positive thoughts by thinking them repetitively and saying them out loud repetitively. If we dwell on the negative trying to get rid of it and worrying about it just gives it more power...SO JUST STOP. Only Light can conquer darkness...Once you figure out what thoughts are causing the anxiety, figure what the right thoughts should be and start thinking them and saying them out loud if you can. For social anxiety, I think being more GOD-conscious and seeing ourselves for who we really are - that is a child of God and not being self conscious of what others think of us is the answer. Ultimately it's our minds controlling our feelings and actions not other's.

Also I started something called the linden method. You can learn more about it at http://www.lindenmethod.com/ if you'd like. For those who believe in Christ, I encourage you to visit this site:http://www.ficm.org/whoami.htm - it's really beautiful isn't it?

I know that this healing is possible, Don't give up hope
God Bless,

~angelina~   (Tue Mar 27 13:40 2007)

hello there!
i have read all that you have said and yes, it's really happening to us!..this is how my anxiety/depression begin ..exactly with a major life change..I've just been graduating from college, moving on, changinglife habits ang going on ..to a job..to a "wrong choice" let's say..it caused me a lot an anxiety..chest pain, insomnia, pain in the neck, thoughts..i thought i couldn't sleep anymore..i was going crazy..what was suppost to be a good thing..it became a nightmare..i coudn't go off my house, i was panicked..i coudn't eat..i lost pounds..i was afraid of going into the office...right now..after aprox 4 months of my anxiety i've taken pills and i have seen a psihotherapist...i can say that evreything lies into us, into our heads unfortunately..it's related with daily stress especially...i'm feeling now a little better with not so much anxiety but with depression symptoms unfortunately..i'm not from US, and in my country people don't speak about things like this, we don't hane counselling groups and this is a real tragedy..but with time everything will go out..bless you! (Thu Jan 25 14:10 2007)   (Thu Jan 25 14:16 2007)

Hi Everyone. Just did the test to see how severe my Anxiety was I scored 34. Thats worse than I thought. Anyway thought Id share some of thoughts with you all, since being diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression, life has been hell! Just one worry after another infact im in a constant state of WORRY. I dont sleep much and when I do I have terrible nightmares. Thus resulting in having little or no energy!
I feel like im losing my grip on reality, even the smallest of tasks feels like a struggle. I hate feeling this way and although I have a supportive family I feel guilty for troubling them with my worries. I can't talk to my husband as he just doesn't understand, it's as if he thinks Im making all this up.
I take 40mg of Fluoxetine a day which used to help but now I feel like my body is fighting the medication, I dont want to increase my dose as Im trying to concieve and worry it may affect my chances.
I just dont know where to turn, I dont go out anymore as I can't enjoy myself and if I do I want to get home as quickly as possible. Sometimes I wonder why Im alive, what is the point of living if im so unhappy?    (Wed Jan 10 3:52 2007)

Hi everyone. My experience with anxiety has been happening since I was young but was never really severe until last summer.
One day I just started worrying obsessivly about my wife and daughter, for no reason, they were fine. After that I started feeling nauseated and shaky. The symptoms continued after that so that every day, usually when I'm driving home from work, I feel tense and scared and I realize this is the warning signs of a bout of anxiety. It usually hits me in the evenings around 4pm and lasts until I go to sleep. I feel nauseated and sleepy. I generally take a dose of some sort of cold medicine to try and stop the feelings. It used to work but lately it doesn't do anything.
I went to see my doc, she said she thought the nausea was from a sluggish digestive system and put me on Reglan. It seems to help the nausea some but I'm not convinced that's the real problem. I'm sure the anxiety is causing all my problems but I'm really reluctant to try meds. I've heard testimonies here that pretty much tell me the drugs are hit or miss. I'd rather not get addicted to a drug that could or could not help.
My wife takes paxil and I beleive she is addicted to it. She doesn't duffer from anxiety as badly as I do but she still has panic attacks occassionally.
I'm not sure where to go from here. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I really feel like I'm missing out on alot of good things in life because of this.   (Fri Dec 15 7:27 2006)

My experiences are similiar like TT. I've had anxiety for as long as I can remember. 10 years ago it was really bad. Insominia, anxiety, always thinking the worst. Scared to go to sleep with fear I wont wake up. I tried herbs (valerian, lavender, st. john wart). They all seem to work, but these episodes are coming back again. I'm determined to beat this. Good luck to all   (Fri Dec 8 15:02 2006)

I have read through several postings and I feel compelled
to share my own story (briefly) and more importantly, how
I got well. I began to suffer from anxiety in the second
grade. I can tell you all that most of what I have read here
on this page I have experienced at some point in my life. I
have had severe breakdowns, panic attacks that lasted for
days, medication, self-medication, physical illness...you
name it, if it relates to anxiety, I have probably
experienced it. But I am well today, and I am here to tell
you all that you can get well also.
It began with belief for me. I had heard of people getting
better before, but on some level, I just didn't believe that I
could. The change began for me when I read a book
called POWER OVER PANIC by Bronwyn Fox. It was the
first time I felt like someone understood me. The book
helped me to understand what was happening to me on a
deeper level and for the first time, I believed I would get
better. I decided I would use medication again, but for
the first time, I was also doing what I needed to do
(emotionally) to truely get well. I read another book called
"You can Heal Your LIfe" by Louise Hay. I began to
understand that I was in control of my thoughts, and that I
could change my thoughts, and therefore change my
experience. I understand now that we can "rewire" our
brains to work in different ways. Just like we wired them
to function when we experience anxiety, we can change
them to function in a way where we do not. There is so
much to it. A movie that explains the brain function really
well is called "What the Bleep Do We Know?"
Today, I claim only perfect health, and that is how I live.
Do I still have anxiety sometimes? Yes, I do, but I think
about it and react to it differently than I once did. I have
been off of medication for one year and I meditate every
day. I now look at anxiety as one of the greatest
blessings in my life. It is my greatest indicator when my
thoughts are not in allignment with what is best for me. It
led me to learning how to take better care of myself and
to truely love myself. Now, I just want to help others do
the same, which is how I found this site. I am doing
research now and hoping that one day this will benifit a
greater number of people.
I hope some of the resourses I gave are helpful...it is
worth it to do the work to get well...it is hard getting
started, but it is worth it in the long run...you will live
again, you will dream again....and you will be thankful for
every moment....   (Fri Dec 8 13:46 2006)

Not amazing, and I don't feel too great right now, that's after two years of identified anxiety problems (panic attacks, horrendous nightmares and sleep, etc...), with one year's treatment (first year too scared of meds): first Effexor XR (too many side effects, such as anorgasmia but ok results) then switched to tianeptine, a kind of 'reversed' ssri which also works well with zero sides. However anxiety still acts up from time to time, that's when I need to take a benzo (the long acting ones are the best and least addictive). Also I have ordered a CBT book to see if it's for me. In the meantime, I have developped a simple gimmick which seems to help me when I'm getting too stressed out and start panicking for no good reason: I start telling myself : "I...don't...care...about...anything" really slowly and picturing what this actually means, that everything will eventually turn out fine. "Care" works better than "worry" because worry just reminds me of my anxiety, and makes me start wondering why I'm messed up. It doesn't imply I'm developping a "careless attitude", it's just to help with the crippling anxiety. When I think I'm having a heart attack (or some other worry which I know arises because of anxiety), saying this implies, OK, I don't care if I have one, no problem...I can handle it anyway...and it goes away...Also, focusing on saying this (or something else that works for you) and breathing w/ your abdomen (expire to the max, but inspire normally, then five normal breaths, repeat) will really help, altough I think I still need the meds for a while. Good luck to all, great site.   (Thu Dec 7 9:52 2006)

I can just be sitting and fine...then i think about my anxiety and BOOM..and i get figity...my breath shortens...i feel as if i should get up and "throw sumthing away" then by that time its ok...and i calm down...this happens especially in bright rooms...or white rooms...sometimes when i am performing cheerleading, i feel as if i am going to faint..not cuzz i am nervous..but cuzz of my anxiety...i feel it interfiers with everything...i dream to be a singer and actress..because i know i have a lot of talent..and i konw what talent is...and i am not going to get anywhere if i keep having this anxiety...i dont want to take any parscriptions because it will interfier with a lot of things that i do...I NEED SOME HELPP!!   (Wed Nov 29 19:11 2006)

5 yrs ago I started having anxiety and panic attacks because a dentist who pulled a tooth put a hole into my sinuses. I experience this for a yr. After it was repaired they went away. Every time I get an infection they come back. My son has been sick for 6 yrs since he had mono in 8th grade and has serious trouble with anxiety attacks. He was recently diagnosed with hypothyroidism and the meds are starting to help. I say go see an Endocrinologist and make sure you don't have something more going on. No doctor told me about this...I got it through my own research - sad but true the health industry leaves us hanging out there.    (Sun Nov 26 11:40 2006)

My score was somewhere in the middle. Just as I imagine myself to be: somewhere in the middle. But, is there going to be an ending to irrational anxieties(ptsd) and depression for everyone? Maybe not. I am starting to forget what it felt like to be normal. In the beginnning, when I was braving it through my personal war, I would say to someone who dissed me - "This is something that happened to me and not who I am." Now though, 5 yrs. later, it is definately who I am. Oh well. The state gave me a V.O.C. to get counseling after the district attorney of the state of Ca. put my abuser in prison. I went to it all. I did it all: the trial of meds., the 2 counseling sessions a week (1-individual and 1-group), jumped through the hoops for everyone that came along to take my son away from me, all the court precedings, lawyers, police officers, detectives, visitation, $$$, everything.
I lost my son, my dignity, my dreams, and now I quess I've lost my mind. I went back to counseling this month and back to a new medication called Gabitril(tiagabine) prescribed to me by a psychiatrist with a long history of dealing with ptsd.
Frankly, I just want this all to be over. Why can't I get over it? I would do anything to dream, believe and hope again. I miss my son and I miss working and I miss people. OH well? This is not a movie a book or Oprah so, Goodbye to all. I will be drifting into obscurity with the rest of those who could not find their way back to the path.
So, if I've given up then why write this? Because maybe, just maybe someone will read this and write back to me - all about how they got over it or a new place to look for an exit from this empty room that is my life now.    (Tue Nov 7 16:22 2006)

I have been taking 20mgs of Lexapro for several years now and does not seem to be working anymore. My doctor suggested that I take 30mgs a day, however this caused no imporvment, so we agreed to take the does back down to 20mgs a day. Can one be on an antidepressant "too long" to the point that it is no loger effective?    (Tue Nov 7 4:51 2006)

Anxiety is a hard thing to deal with. To me its about the worst thing, maybe I just feel this way because this is what I've experienced for the past 10 years (that is ever since I was 11 years old). Anxiety is always caused by some event and even from reading your posts it seems to be true- for me (as I mentioned before) it started when I came to here to Canada at 11 years old. I was faced with racism and a lot of ridicule and that's when I started having anxiety coming to school everyday and it never left after that. I remember always being a shy child but I never had any type of social anxiety before I came here. I do believe though that it is possible to be free from anxiety. It's just the way the mind works and its the way we've allowed it to work. For me, in social situations, I feel like some harm is going to come to me in my mind harm means ridicule or some kind of hostility towards me. I know my thinking is wrong I've been carrying these feelings from age 11 and its hard to change when youre mind is used to thinking a certain way. I think working on changing the way we think is key. I know it's easier said than done but it is not impossible. When I tell myself in the situation that its just my mind the anxiety goes away sometimes. I just need to work on being more strong-minded and know that nothing and noone can make me feel insecure. I am a Christian and do believe that there is a God who cares about us and I find that when I meditate and pray and put myself in the arms of a living Father(God)I feel this tremendous sense of security and this strong power with me bigger than any problem I might face. If I just keep myself there in my mind I know I would feel secure and unafraid in social situations even if there are people around who would things that would otherwise make me feel insecure. It's just a matter of working on it and believing it and it starts with Faith that God will heal us. We are all created in the image of God and God may be using this anxiety to mold us in some way to become better people. I'm realizing now that if I'm being molded for God's purpose then why should it matter what other people think but I guess its just the way my mind has been thinking for so long. One thing I've noticed is that because of this anxiety ,we're able to understand and sympathize with other people. I believe so strongly that God is going to heal people of anxiety and use those people to help others and those people will be us- people who actually understand what its like and are in a position to help others. I was shocked to learn that millions of people suffer from anxiety - it needs to be dealt with. Thank you to everyone here for sharing your stories. Don't give up, there is a way out. Take care & God Bless.

~angelina~

   (Thu Oct 26 13:23 2006)

Have you tried Effexor SR?

It is slowing my thoughts down - I have about the same thing as you have described. Effexor XR kills your head on the first few doses, but then the side effects go away.

I have been on Effexor XR for nearly a year now, and remember the first few months where it would surprise me how calming the meds were.   (Wed Oct 18 16:47 2006)

i have suffered with anxiety for years. it seems to come when i know i will be alone at home. i get so tired and just want to sleep, my head hurts and i lose my appetite. when i drove my daughter to school i could barely drive home, 16 miles, i was almost falling asleep at the wheel then came home and went to sleep, i have been taking wellbutrim and it was working wonders for me, until just recently. has anyone had this experience that usually occurs 2 days of the week??   (Mon Oct 16 19:45 2006)

i am trying to find a dr. that actually understands me. most dr.s listen for aminiute but don't really get it. like i'm there just for pity or something. i don't like prescription drugs, i have a son with down syndrome ,so i can't be druged up. is there anyone who actually understands?!?

I am 41 years old and suffer every day from anxiety and a million racing thoughts that i've had all my life. they never stop i have been to every kind of doctor there is. psychologist, psychiatrist, sex therapist, primary care, accupuncture, hypnosis, even to the urologist because now i have sexual problems too. i've been on every kind of antidepressant, benzodines and herbs with no luck. i've even had psychiatrist tell me they don't know what's wrong. can anyone suggest what might help stop or slow down these racing thoughts?   (Mon Oct 9 12:31 2006)

I scored 29, but I think my anxiety is progressing. I'm a perfectionist... got good grades in school until I got to college when I began drinking. I couldn't control it and it eventually got to the point where I was hospitalized three times for alcohol poisoning, tried to kill myself, and went into rehab. I've always been a tense person, but these experiences have left me traumatized and more insecure than ever.

Going back further, when I was 5, my mother abducted me from kindergarten and took me to a shelter. Later my parents engaged in an ugly, uncivil custody battle. My Dad won primary guardianship and my Mom got visitaion rights. After every visit my Dad would interogate and chastize me. Every phone call was monitored. He accused me of being in cahoots with her and of being ungrateful. This probably triggered the onset of my depression and anxiety.

Currently, I am 19 months sober, back in school, have a caring boyfriend, and am on equally peaceful terms with both my parents. But, I always have the sense that things will shatter again. My drepression haunts me and my anxiety is manifesting itself in ticks, dizzy spells, panic attacks, and mild insomnia. I had to make a research presentation recently and I completely froze.

No matter how well I try to maintain a healthy routine, I find myself reverting to negative thoughts and bad habits like a seesaw. I'm reading a book called "Lifetime Plan for Success" by Dale Carnegie. It's two-part: "How to Win Friends & Influence People" and "How to Stop Worrying & Start Living." Since I don't take medications, I find this really helpful. I'm also looking into integrative cognitive-behavioral counseling, but my schedule is very tight. I appreciate any input or advice. And good luck to everyone here.   (Sat Oct 7 15:27 2006)

I had a couple of panic episodes this past year. Never had them before. First time was when I was working out and could not catch my breath and my heart was tachying. I thought I was having a heart attack. I had a feeling of I was going to die. I was able to drive myself home and was about to go to the ER, but it subsided. Had a Physical, EKG everything was normal. Had another one in the middle of the night,woke me up. Same thing, shortness of breath and tachying. About to go to ER again but subsided. My last one I did go into ER but left because damn Dr. was taking to long and my symtoms subsided. I went home and saw my Dr. next day. He took blood and thought it was my tyroid. Came back normal. He prescribed Xanax. I have been taking St. Johns Wort & Kava Kava. It helps. But all this was due to stress. Govt has been investigating me for the past year, I had plans to travel (10hr flight),I hate flying and clearing the madness at the airport does not help. My going in to work is stressfull. I take the Xanax when I feel I am going to have panic attack and it helps. So look at your life and id those factors of distress. Take care.    (Sat Oct 7 6:13 2006)

Don't give up! You CAN feel better. There are enough good options out there that everyone should be able to feel some relief - it just takes a while to find the right combinations. Some of the many options to try include the following: 1. Regular aerobic exercise can really help regain balance and wellbeing. It is so difficult to start and maintain, but it works well and is best when done everyday. 2. Medications that can help are the benzodiazepines (as you have found), but also ask your doctor about the MAO-inhibitors as well (these are older antidepressants that are used for social phobias and anxiety as well as atypical and refractory depression). (These meds reportedly may work better than other antidepressants for anxiety and phobias and are also off patent so can be cheaper - FYI, I have no financial interests in any med companies.) 3. Other options that can really make a difference when you're dealing with a limited budget are anxiety and phobia workbooks (check the local library or bookstore self-help sections)... they teach the same cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques as many psychotherapists do. (I would still favor in-person therapy because you get feedback and more external insight, but you should know that in any therapy situation, it is your own introspective work that really makes the difference anyway.) Good luck!!!   (Fri Oct 6 12:56 2006)

to lanie age 36
I've read your post, I'm in the same situation. Age 36, bullied at work, but I'm not a nurse (that's for strong people), I used to be a finance assistant. I don't work for the last 3 months, and I feel terrible. As I said, I was bullied at work and I was really happy when my contract ended. But, instead of having a great summer, I fell in bed feeling so tired, but unable to keep still. Worst summer ever, I couldn't control my thoughts, sleeping badly, feeling sad, worried, heart pounding like crazy, you know, all those anxiety/depression symptoms. I can't imagine myself working again since even simple cooking is a everyday struggle. My GP gave me Ativan to use every second day (not enough, but I don't dare to use it every day since it's causing addiction) and Effexor. I tried Effexor for a week, and when I shifted to a higher dose I felt even worse and stopped.
I visited a psychiatrist who recomended a therapyst, not antidepressants. I decided to try with a therapist, but that's so expensive and I don't have any health plans.
I was wondering if you could tell me which antidepressant you used since it worked for you, maybe I'll give it a try if therapist thing fails.
By the way, thank you guys for posting your experiences with anxiety/depression. I found this site yesterday and I already spent 6 hours reading your posts. I knew there are a lot of people with the same problems, but I admire your honesty.
I'm fighting this stupid thing every second day (when I don't use Ativan)hoping it will end soon, but frightened it never will, and I feel so weak...
I have two beautiful children and a good husband, we used to be a happy family, I have to conquer this for them as well.
Good luck to you all, and if any of you have any good advice, please share it with us.


   (Fri Oct 6 10:46 2006)

I just took the test and scored a 48 ! I would like to get some help with my disorder however i really don't know how to go about it! any information you might could give me would be really helpful! I have lost a good job and would like to just feel normal for myself and my family.   (Mon Sep 25 14:35 2006)

One night this summer I kept feeling a sharp pain on the left side of my chest.....I was with my friends and I kept thinking I was having heart problems. The next thing I knew, my left arm was going numb, and I was starting to sweat and get very nervous. I asked one of my buddies at the card table who was in med school what it could be, and he told me it was symptoms of a heart attack, and I freaked out and went in to the ER that night. So I sat in the ER for about 2 hours getting an X-ray and an EKG. Everything came back ok, but they put me on some neproxen, thinking it might have been a pinched nerve. For some reason, I didnt except that the doctor told me it wasnt my heart, so 5 days later I went back to the ER during my work shift. This time I got an EKG and a blood test testing for heart damage. Everything came back fine, the doctor told me he was 100% sure it was not my heart causing the symptoms. I was still always worried that something was wrong. About 2 weeks later, the left side of my body was going numb, and I went in to the ER again, thinking I was having a stroke, and the doctor did some tests, and told me it was probable anxiety. Its been about 2 months since then, and I have been following up with a doctor about every 2 weeks for symptoms. I had an ultrasound of my heart, and also a blood test for just about everything, and everything has shown up clean. He said he is 99.9 percent sure I am healthy, and since then, symptoms have gotten better. I still currently have pressure on the left side of my head, Dry throat, Minor chest pain, and minor burning sensations in my stomach....By far the worst summer I have ever had.....I should probably add that I am 22 years old, I am starting Grad school in January of 07, and I work a pretty stressful job. God bless everyone!   (Fri Sep 22 6:18 2006)

Well comparatively I don't have very servere anxiety (I scored a relatively low 20), maybe because my body dosn't react very badly to all the worring I do. I'm 24 and really this only started a couple of years ago and comes on and off periodically. In the last couple of weeks it has ranged from insanely obsessive worry to minor nigeling. I mostly worry about work related stuff although I also worry about social circumstances. I was never too much like this when I was younger and it's really thrown me off. I was happy to leave my job and probably career path because of this. Silly little things seem to really get to me and I can't stop thinking about hypothetical situations where I keep thinking if I make a mistake something really bad will happen down the line. People are being supportive of me but I think it's only a matter of time before they loose their paitence. When I'm not worring I can feel a little niggle at the pit of my stomach. Sometimes I feel like I've solved the problem (like now and writing this seems to help) and I feel elated but then I fall back into it again without warning. One train of thought can lead to a massive ammount of worry. I can't seem to switch it off for ages after this happens. It is good to know I'm not alone, I didn't think most people actually understood where I was coming from. Thanks to everyone who posted.   (Thu Sep 14 11:06 2006)

Hello Angela...I had a nervous breakdown last year.I was prescribed prozac and spiralled downwards.The drug made me worse.I have taken herbal remedies which help.I lost my job today because I couldnt do a presentation.I am going to take control....Try and rebuild my life and accept that I have a phobia...You can live drug free and online support groups are there to help.Best wishes Janette   (Wed Sep 13 17:36 2006)

I scored 37. I have all the physical symptoms, I never realised a mental problem could cause physical symptoms. I have been looking for a reason for years, thinking I must be really ill or something. Thank god for this website. I don't wanna try anti-deppressents - any other suggestions??   (Mon Sep 4 15:03 2006)

Hello... I have experienced anxiety most of my life,
starting from when I was young, about 9 years old. I am
only now coming to realise the underlying hold it has even
when I think I am fine. From severe panic attacks,
anorexia, vomiting, social phobia, depression, any
symptom that could possibly exist, I think I have felt it. I
have used self-help books to try to heal and got myself
through the worst of it. This year depressive symptoms
have returned and it is almost impossible to know where
to go when there are not many people who understand. I
am glad I found this website today. I would not say I have
supportive family or friends who I am inclined to tell
about this 'thing' (anxiety). There is just my doctor who
seems to think anti-depressants will cure me but I don't
believe her. I don't know what others think about it but
aren't they just another form of 'hiding' it? My only release
is art but there is only so much drawing I can do to help. I
left my job last month because my employers thought my
'problem' was too difficult. No matter how people try, the
stigma of mental illness is always out there. I am only
hoping to find a way through this life without drugs
(medication). But it is tiring to keep going, trying to
maintain balance and there are many things I want to do.
It would be good to read a response if anyone has one... is
it possible to live with anxiety drug-free?   (Mon Sep 4 0:01 2006)

I believe strongly in holistic healing. Some things that have helped me sleep better and therefore fight anxiety better are drinking all natural decaf green tea before bed, little expensive but worth it, it relaxes you alot. Also I take melatonin which is taken in pill form, you can get it at any health food store. It's not a drug, melatonin is released by your body naturally at night in the dark to help you fall asleep, taking a pill of it just boosts the effectiveness, and if you stay calm it works great, you'll fall asleep withing 30 minutes, if you stay calm. You can take it for weeks straight then slowly easy off it once you start sleeping better. I didn't even know about melatonin before a lady at the health food store recommended it to me. Those things help me sleep anyway, and getting sleep can I believe beat anxiety. You can't fight when you're tired lol. Hope this helps you guys some, much love!    (Sat Aug 26 0:01 2006)

Just found this website. It's amazing reading others experiences. I got a score of 35. My main high scores were physical symptoms. I'm 23 years old, my anxiety disorder really started getting bad about 3 years ago when I took a blood donation. I was already a very anxious and nervous person and I believe that pushed to to panic attacks because I had never had one before that. For months off and on I'd wake up in the middle of the night shaking thinking I was going to die, I was short of breath. My mom said it was hereditary and she had them too, and my grandparents as well. I was fine for a few years, still very anxious, nervous, but my panic attacks had subsided. Now just a few weeks ago I believe my anxiety and panic has at least doubled, I was fine until I got an ear infection, and I'm also getting ready to go back to college in a few weeks too. This is to be my last year of college and I think that, along with the ear infection triggered my anxiety again.

I recently went to the doctor for the infection and it was treated and cured. One night I believe I hit "rock bottom" so to speak. I came home from work and was very short of breath, I think I was just panicing mainly, I felt flush and thought I was having a heart attack. I pretty active with exercise I play basketball almost everyday I have off. So I was like a heart attack at 23? But I'm in decent health, not overweight, and I exercise, my diet could be better though. Of course I'm still here so I doubt it was a heart attack. So back I went to the doctor, describing my symptoms, chest pain, more like an ache, short of breath, weak/faintness. They took a chest x-ray, found nothing, they thought the infection turned into bronchitis, but they found no fluid in my lungs, no cancer mases, no nothing. Then they took blood to see if I was anemic or had a disease there, came back fine, no active diseases again. Everyone I talk to said if I had a heart condition it would have shown in the tests, so I was relieved to hear that as well. They took my heart rate and they just said it was very high, of course I was extremely nervous being at the doctors no knowing what was wrong, kinda funny because one visit I had 150/90 blood pressure and like a 120 pulse, another time when I was much more calm my bp was 130/85 and a 62 pulse, which is pretty normal. Today I was pretty anxious at work but better then usual, I have a bp tester at home and I was curious to what my bp and heart rate was right as soon as I got home from work to see if it was up from work or if my heart rate was high all day. Anyway I was pretty anxious on the ride home, but the funny thing is when I took my bp it was 129/80, and a 79 pulse, very normal for just returning home from a long day at work, so that made me feel alot better and my anxiousness subsided alot. I was able to watch tv and was more relaxed throughout the night.

I also find myself scared to fall asleep at night as I'm sure alot of you are too, I'm scared I'll die and won't wake up, so I find myself watching tv for an extra hour or so, and feeling anxious. When I wake up in the morning and I'm getting ready for work my anxiety is extreme I find, and continues till I get to work and start to do work and get my mind distracted sorta lol. But I'm still very nervous at work, and I find it hard to talk to customers, I start to sweat and my breath gets very short while trying to talk to them, after I find I relax a bit.

Just wanted to share my anxiety and panic stories with everyone, I'm determined to fight this, I thought I had it beat for the most part, I was taking vitamins, exercising, meditating daily, doing breathing exercises, sleeping better. This was just like 6 months ago to I felt normal again. Now I feel as if I'm at square one again or worse, mainly because I got away from my routine because of work and college. My doctor I'm sure knows I'm fine because they did testing, and found nothing wrong, which gives me hope.

Keep the faith guys, I beat this once and I think I can do it again. My advice is to see a doctor if you haven't already, get the tests done, it's scary but if there's nothing wrong it will make you feel much better. I beat this without taking any drugs and I believe everyone can, it's hard but it can be done. I recommend excercise that you like, playing basketball really helped me, I was so focused on making baskets that I didn't even think of my increased heart rate. I found it was more tired at night too and slept better. Breathing exercises and meditation are great too, they make you focus on your heart more but if you can stay calm the after effect is a very relaxed feeling. Best wishes to everyone and I hope we can all defeat anxiety, depression, panic, whatever is effecting you. Much love to you all!    (Fri Aug 25 23:32 2006)

hey i got 50 like allison i dont want to take drugs to fight it i was "normal" over 5 years ago im only 19 i spent half my teenage years being sick over 30 times a day due to anxiety i got heavey feelings in my chest to the first doctor i seen said it was somethig everyone did and i would grow out of it it took me months to make that apointment an over 4 years to make the next when i decided i was not going to grow out of it! i got assessed an got told you guessed it i had anxiety well i could of told them that years ago if they had listened. im havin a good day today an can joke about it but when im havin my normal days when it feels like everything can and will go wrong i just want to be sick an cry i take a naturel remedy called kalms now if i have a bad day an i dont no if they really work but they stopped me bein sick so often. one of the best moment about bein assesed was when i was told there would be a wait as there for my next appointment with the doctor i was to see as she was very busy with people just like me! befor i felt liek a freak on my bad days i would wake with a heavy feeling on my chest that would just not go away an made me feel so sad but once i was sick it went away?? no i no it sounds like some eating disorder but i promise you i love my food lol    (Fri Aug 25 18:59 2006)

Hell-o guys, I've read your experiances wih with panic
etc.
And I know it's strange to say, boy I am so glad to meet
you all!. I have it all, I am taking serzone, effexor and
klonopin.
I took zoloft but but it gave side affectes( in the bedroom )
so because of my marriage had it changed. But after 35
yrs. of a good marriage it all ended. If I haddend had
deppression
before then , I would instantly be hit with like a lightening.
At the same time I was going through monapause, my
dad died. And I sarted drinking bad move I do"nt suggust
it to anyone. Now I am o.k, sober for almost 3 yrs. lost
55pounds and do"nt go outside unless a Dr. appiontment
or food. If I need anything else, I use the computer or do
all errands the same day. Lonely unbelievibly. I have 3
grown boys 30, 28.19, the 19 year old dose not call or
write me and he lives with his father 2 miles away. My
husband had him all signed up for art school in San
Francisco without telling me, so I could not not say good-
bye or a hug ( I closed myself in a dark hall and paced
back and forth until my Dr. called back and setteled me
down. Even pills did not touchrd that pain. We are still
going through a divorce stuff he's taking my health
insurance away and now my home. But I am crawling
through and I know it could be worse ( are you kidding!!)
It would be nice to here from anyone out there really.
Good-night.
julie


   (Thu Aug 24 7:53 2006)

Ok, so, I used to be "normal." I used to be able to go on vacations, and do what I wanted, when I wanted. But for the past 3 years things have not been so normal. From the moment I wake up I have severe anxiety and cannot function, but it only lasts for the first part of the day. It's not like an unexpected panic attack, I know it will effect me every morning. But over the past month it has blown up because my parents got a divorce, my mom got breast cancer, and my 3 year relationship with my boyfriend ended. In the morning I feel shaky, tense, nauseated, and it is almost impossible for me to function. I have tried 3 different types of medication, seen 2 therapists, and 1 hypnotherapist. Nothing has worked. I have been told that it is a phase I am going through, which might be true, but I'm sick of not having a normal life anymore. If anyone has any advice, I'd be more than willing to listen.   (Mon Aug 21 15:31 2006)

I'm trying to fight for my sanity without taking any prescription drugs. The fear I have of the side effects and everything keeps me from even opening the bottle. Anyone have any suggestions? I'm sure this means that I should take the drugs, but I really don't want to. Talking makes me feel better, yoga makes me feel better - if these things help, then there has to be hope for me!   (Fri Aug 18 20:15 2006)

i havn't posted on here for a while but i just thought i would because i wanted to give a little bit of hope to some of you..my anxiety symptoms have increased by almost 85% and although not fully gone isn't ruining my life anymore..if you read my other posts it explains things i did to help and they have really worked for me...i am currently trying to come off the anti ds that i was taking and am now taking 25 ml of amitriptlyn as apposed to 150 ml my moods are alot better my sleeping pattern is alot better i am able to associate with my friends again and i feel a much more confident person than i used to be...i hope this is a little inspiration to some of you there is a way of getting rid of this for all of you the hard part is doing it and if you put your mind to it you will -jodi   (Fri Aug 11 10:46 2006)

Hi, It's so great to read about other's experiences with anxiety and to know that you're not alone. I have been dealing with severe anxiety and depression since I was 7 years old. I'm now 41. I think I've been on every antidepressant in the past 16 years of finally being treated. Ativan has helped greatly. I'm now trying Effexor XR. I just read an article about a somewhat new med called Lyrica (pregabalin)which has been approved for diabetic neuropathy and post-herpetic neuralgia. It is also being used for Fibromyalgia (which I also have.) The article I read was about a research study about using Lyrica for GAD. I just started taking it so I'm hopeful.

In all honesty, the best lesson I have learned about dealing with the anxiety, and has worked for me, I learned from my kitten! He's a wild little guy! He had been abandoned when he was 2 weeks old and was very frightened. I met him when he was 6 weeks old and instantly fell in love! Every day for 2 weeks, I went to the animal hospital, held him, sang to him, and talked to him. After a few days, he was jumping into my arms when I went to see him. He needs ALOT of attention and constantly has to know where I am. When he needs attention, he acts up and does things he knows he's not supposed to do so he'll get my attention.

With that said, I learned that in order to stop his misbehavior, I had to distract him. This was the lesson he taught me. I thought maybe if I could distract myself from frantic worrying and anxiety that I could at least calm it down. With my therapist's help, I am learning how to recognize the early warnin signs that an attack is coming. The best distraction for me is to listen to music using my headphones. It really has helped! I find that by using the headphones, my head seems filled with the music rather than the obssesive thoughts. I have different playlists on my Palm for different moods and uses- calming, relaxing music and upbeat music with a good beat. Another study has shown that rhythmic beats can actually change brain waves.

I apologize for the length of this post- it's my Irish gift of gab! I truly hope that some of this info can help. I pray to God that someday there will be light at the tunnel for all of who endure this terrible disorder.

Sending you all peace and positive energy.   (Tue Aug 8 18:58 2006)

I'm 48.  I've got some family stresses (don't most of us?) that I can normally deal with, but I took a severe personal blow in February that I believe sent my brain chemicals tilt.  I was hurt terribly by a man that I thought could be a really wonderful person.  He told me his wife had died in '99 - but in reality, he was nothing more than a psychopathic, manipulative, sexual predator.  Because of the pain it's caused me, I'm seriously considering filing sexual assault charges on this guy because of the predatory fraud he committed on me. It's been the most horrible personal event in my life!  

Anyway....  After I couldn't get back on track with my life after about a month, I tried a small dose of Zoloft and then very gradually increased to 100 mg a day.  Basically, I didn't feel better, and in fact, some of the paranoia & anxious feelings were at their worst when I was up to 100 mgs. I couldn't function during the day. I have not been able to concentrate or be creative as I usually am - and this has really hurt my business.  I've been wrestling terribly with anxiety during the past 5 months.  

I weaned myself off of the Zoloft completely about 2 weeks ago  - feeling that it wasn't the right aid for me at this time.  When I asked my doctor about something that would be non-addictive that would help me deal with daytime anxiety and nightmares, she told me to give Valerian Root a try.  I've only had it a few days, but I have noticed a difference in the way I'm feeling and I believe I might be on to something good here.  Because of the anxiety, I was itching at my skin to the point of causing damage. It seemed the pain I would cause from itching and picking would relieve stress.  (terrible, I know - but I felt more relief by causing myself a small level of pain than what the Zoloft was providing)  After two days on the Valerian, I'm feeling a normal level of pain again (I know this sounds sick - but I'm being honest) so I hope I'm reaching I balance in my brain that has been absent for the past 5 months.

Different things work well on different people at different times - and for me, a small dose of Zoloft for a couple of months (50 mg day) did wonders for me when going through a bad personal event about 7 years ago - but this time it was a big disappointment.

I personally can't afford to continue to feel badly, but I hesitate trying other Rx drugs after bombing so badly with the Zoloft this time.

Anyway....

The first ray of sunshine I've felt in the past 5 months seems to have come from Valerian.

At least for the past day and a half, I've not had the same desire nor do I find relief at digging at my skin.  It was really quite amazing to feel it "hurt" like it should to the point that I don't want to do it.

Getting on top of difficult mood problems is a real bugger, isn't it?  

Wishing hope to anyone reading this,

SJT in Colorado

   (Sat Jul 29 17:57 2006)

I have had an stress filled life since the I was 11 and started to move around a lot as well as fight with my single mother constantly. I am 22 now and have JUST realized I have had panic attacks and depression off and on since that time. Now that I am aware of my condition I have been trying to get it under control; everything I have tried only works temporarily and then all of sudden its back; its affecting my life heavily and I don't want to take medication. I need a permanent long lasting solution. Just telling myself positive things only works short term and not being able to help myself makes me feel even worse and depressed. Any adi   (Thu Jul 20 21:07 2006)

These days have been rough for me... I have a BPD dx. and sometimes can't cope with anxiety but ANTs have helped me a lot... though I still need to keep working, thanks for your articles.   (Thu Jul 6 15:30 2006)

Shocked bt my score   (Fri Jun 23 20:38 2006)